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Page: 17 of 5576
When you’re on your third “damn, that’s crazy” and they keep talking.
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05-28-2022 01:36 by
Jean
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The CDC now recommends wearing your mask as a blindfold while pumping gas.
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06-14-2022 03:00
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In France you don’t say “I miss you.” You say, “Tu me manques,” which means “you are missing from me.” I love that.
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04-19-2022 10:42
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The bird flu? I hope so.
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04-19-2022 11:14
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When she’s using her man’s phone to check the weather and wind blows her into his inbox.
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07-04-2022 02:57
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As I watch this generation try to rewrite history, one thing I’m sure of, it will be misspelled and without punctuation.
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07-23-2022 00:00
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Nurse: You may not feel anything from the waist down. Him: Just tits then?
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05-08-2022 20:38
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Someone living in their grandmother’s basement used to be the butt of the joke. The rental market is so insane that now it’s like, dam, you’ve got a whole basement to yourself, that’s sexy.
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05-11-2022 00:47
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I’m not here to fit into your world, I’m here to build my own world.
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05-14-2022 03:26
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Coffee: More than four cups and you can talk to electricity.
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05-15-2022 02:44
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A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
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05-18-2022 00:45
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Never forget where you came from, because that’s probably where you left your phone.
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05-19-2022 07:30
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I never forget a face; but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.
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07-23-2022 23:27
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If she starts drawing shapes on your chest after sex, just get up and leave. A very stupid question is coming.
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07-03-2022 06:38
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To suppress free speech is a double wrong. It violates the rights of hearer as well as those of the speaker.
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07-03-2022 06:40
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The only time he messing with you is at night? Bi!ch, you’re dating a bedbug.
154
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05-08-2022 20:36
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Might get crazy tonight and go to bed at 10 instead of 9.
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05-19-2022 07:33
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In 2018, 33 researchers published their theory that octopuses didn’t originate on earth and are actually alien life forms.
154
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05-26-2022 06:05
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Might put the tree up and call it a year.
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05-26-2022 06:05
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The word is “butter,” go spread the word.
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06-09-2022 01:46
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