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I have an electric stove, but I prefer acoustic. The proceeding random thought was for all my musician friends........
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07-20-2016 09:57 by
Jerry Carter
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"I already looked there." -Kids that didn't look there
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10-12-2016 21:13 by
Aaron
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Decaf is the handjob of coffee.
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05-09-2018 05:08
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Dogs love you even if you’re ugly.
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05-15-2018 03:09
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I hate when I’m walking into the gym and the wind blows me into the liquor store.
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06-02-2018 17:23
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DAY 126 WITHOUT SEX, I'VE LOST THE HEARING IN MY RIGHT EYE
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06-07-2018 15:12
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The kid next door is outside banging on a metal bucket in his front yard ..... time to go mow my gravel driveway.
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06-12-2018 09:40
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With the rise in self-driving vehicles it's only a matter of time before we get a country song where the guy's pickup truck leaves him too.
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06-18-2018 10:30
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Alexa, what the hell are these Asian ladies saying about me in this nail salon?
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07-05-2018 02:29
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In a galaxy 40 billion light years away some alien dude is saying, “but I’m not like the other guys,” while an alien lady rolls all 37 of her eyes.
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07-08-2018 00:30
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I’ll smash someone’s car window on a hot day if I see they’ve left a chocolate bar melting inside.
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08-10-2018 03:33
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"This isn't my first rodeo." -Me, at my second rodeo
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08-29-2018 09:00
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My sandal invention for people with one leg turn out to be a flop.
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09-08-2018 00:35 by
Haha
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Today's Tip of the Day:Taste your words before you spit them out.
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09-10-2018 06:51
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As soon as the new iPhone was announced, a weird thing happened. My old iPhone started begging for its life.
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09-10-2018 06:53
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Bean bag chairs are venus fly traps for anyone over 40
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09-14-2018 01:25
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Apparently it's inappropriate to show up at your therapist's home to swim in his new pool even though your "boundary issues" paid for it.
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09-17-2018 07:46
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I went to a wedding last night and they played “The Twist” so I twisted, next they played “Jump around “ so I jumped around. Next they played “Come on Eileen “ I think you know where this is going.
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09-21-2018 23:06 by
Meh!
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Japan has built humanoid robots to do construction work. The robots are so human like that they have three reports of sexual harassment.
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10-04-2018 05:32 by
Haha
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Maybe people would be more concerned about saving the planet if chocolate and coffee were on the endangered list.
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10-05-2018 16:35 by
Haha
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