Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I’m going to start telling women that I’m available for a limited time only in hopes that their shopping instinct kicks in
←Rate | 10-19-2023 09:00 by RobbieG Comments (0)  


   messageicon I feel like someone should've warned Travis Kelce about the crazy...
←Rate | 10-18-2023 13:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a message for the thief who stole 100 cans of Red Bull from my car: How do you sleep at night?
←Rate | 10-17-2023 08:18 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dating right now, is like trusting a public defender.
←Rate | 10-16-2023 13:25 by JIMBOFUNATANYBAR Comments (0)  


   messageicon Q. Can you name a fisherman's tool and a popular search engine? A. Netanyahu.
←Rate | 10-16-2023 11:11 by Fike-McCullough Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage tip: We live in a day of women's equality! So because of this, never ever get your wife's door in the car for her, or open a door for her. Let her do it herself, because hey, equal rights, right?
←Rate | 10-15-2023 09:42 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I told my supervisor I'm coming in on Halloween as a ghost. I'll be here, you just won't see me.
←Rate | 10-14-2023 07:31 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Then there was the blind prostitute. You really gotta hand it to her....
←Rate | 10-13-2023 19:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The reason why the NFL doesn't have very many women referees is because they would be too busy bringing up penalties from 10 years ago.
←Rate | 10-13-2023 08:53 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless and to humor the disturbed.
←Rate | 10-11-2023 17:07 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon So, like... where's God hiding while this Middle East conflict rages on?
←Rate | 10-11-2023 07:32 by ToothFairy Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you call me from a private number, I'll respect your privacy and not answer.
←Rate | 10-10-2023 05:36 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you have to pay a celebrity millions to hawk your product, your product must suck.
←Rate | 10-09-2023 18:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't understand why people get in the left lane just to drive the speed limit. That lane is for crime.
←Rate | 10-08-2023 16:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Disney has a new movie coming out on Disney + tomorrow. Tinker Tinkerbell meets her brother, Taco.
←Rate | 10-08-2023 10:36 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pro tip: Fill the piñata with ketchup and you'll never have to host a children’s birthday party again. You’re welcome.
←Rate | 10-06-2023 08:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It is said that 1 in every 3 people cheat in a relationship. I haven't yet figured out if it's my wife or my girlfriend.
←Rate | 10-06-2023 06:24 by Fike Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please wear your masks. It saved my friends life. He was having lunch with his girlfriend and his wife didn't recognize him.
←Rate | 10-05-2023 16:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon As an electrician, I always hated grounding my kids
←Rate | 10-05-2023 07:48 by JIMBOFUNATANYBAR Comments (0)  


   messageicon White trash go to the movies Just for the trailers
←Rate | 10-05-2023 07:46 by JIMBOFUNATANYBAR Comments (0)  



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