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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Page: 16 of 5576
I’m going to start telling women that I’m available for a limited time only in hopes that their shopping instinct kicks in
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10-19-2023 09:00 by
RobbieG
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I feel like someone should've warned Travis Kelce about the crazy...
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10-18-2023 13:53
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I have a message for the thief who stole 100 cans of Red Bull from my car: How do you sleep at night?
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10-17-2023 08:18 by
GaryKoenig
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Dating right now, is like trusting a public defender.
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10-16-2023 13:25 by
JIMBOFUNATANYBAR
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Q. Can you name a fisherman's tool and a popular search engine? A. Netanyahu.
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10-16-2023 11:11 by
Fike-McCullough
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Marriage tip: We live in a day of women's equality! So because of this, never ever get your wife's door in the car for her, or open a door for her. Let her do it herself, because hey, equal rights, right?
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10-15-2023 09:42 by
GaryKoenig
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I told my supervisor I'm coming in on Halloween as a ghost. I'll be here, you just won't see me.
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10-14-2023 07:31 by
GaryKoenig
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Then there was the blind prostitute. You really gotta hand it to her....
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10-13-2023 19:59
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The reason why the NFL doesn't have very many women referees is because they would be too busy bringing up penalties from 10 years ago.
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10-13-2023 08:53 by
GaryKoenig
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The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless and to humor the disturbed.
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10-11-2023 17:07 by
GaryKoenig
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So, like... where's God hiding while this Middle East conflict rages on?
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10-11-2023 07:32 by
ToothFairy
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If you call me from a private number, I'll respect your privacy and not answer.
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10-10-2023 05:36 by
GaryKoenig
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If you have to pay a celebrity millions to hawk your product, your product must suck.
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10-09-2023 18:48
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I don't understand why people get in the left lane just to drive the speed limit. That lane is for crime.
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10-08-2023 16:21
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Disney has a new movie coming out on Disney + tomorrow. Tinker Tinkerbell meets her brother, Taco.
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10-08-2023 10:36 by
GaryKoenig
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Pro tip: Fill the piñata with ketchup and you'll never have to host a children’s birthday party again. You’re welcome.
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10-06-2023 08:02
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It is said that 1 in every 3 people cheat in a relationship. I haven't yet figured out if it's my wife or my girlfriend.
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10-06-2023 06:24 by
Fike
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Please wear your masks. It saved my friends life. He was having lunch with his girlfriend and his wife didn't recognize him.
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10-05-2023 16:07
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As an electrician, I always hated grounding my kids
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10-05-2023 07:48 by
JIMBOFUNATANYBAR
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White trash go to the movies Just for the trailers
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10-05-2023 07:46 by
JIMBOFUNATANYBAR
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