Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
how come no matter how prepared you are for your toast popping up you still get a shock? 
..a recent survey shows that 9 out of 10 men prefer big boobs. The 10th man just prefers the other 9 men.
had a GREAT FB status but Kanye West interrupted me...
Do you realise that in 40 years time,there will be alot of old ladies walking around with tatoos
Adding "and sh!t" to the end of a sentence to make it sound cooler and sh!t.
I hope hurricane Irene takes care of "Jersey Shore"... Permanently!
No matter what you can do, no matter how talented you are, no matter how amazing and unique that talent may be, somewhere in the world an Asian kid can do it better.
Sorry used to mean that you won't do it again. Today it just means "I fcked up but I might do it again."
i slept on the couch last night, because when my wife asked me why I go to the gym so much. I'm thinking because I wanna look good if we get divorced was not the correct responce.
Don't confuse Facebook with your diary. We really don't need to know some of your personal sh*t.
We have a lot of children living on our street, so I try to caution speeders by bouncing an old tricycle off their windshield
Irish I was a little bit taller, Irish I was a baller. Irish I had a girl who looked good I would call her.
The problem with America today is if you rob a bank, you have to bring your own sacks with “$” on them.
If your music has been featured on "Jersey Shore" your band needs to break up.
Why are there so many First baptist Churches? One of those has to be second, third..........
When I was 18, I really thought I was in love. So, I asked my grandfather. ‘ is love real?' And he said, 'No. But herpes is, so watch your ass.'
Sometimes The Best Thing To Say Is Nothing. Some People Are Not Even Worth Your Words.
Insteading of buying a big, hi-definition TV I got new glasses instead. Now the picture is sharper and more lifelike and I saved thousands of dollars!
Wow, you're tall. Do you play basketball? ..Wow, you're short. Do you play mini golf?
Happy Discount Chocolate Tuesday 