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Thighs that slap together when you walk are just giving the owner an applause.
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06-28-2018 02:11 by
Kisstopher707
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Thank you student loans for helping me get through college. I don't think I can ever repay you.
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07-04-2018 19:28 by
Jake
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I bet it’s pretty hard at a mime’s funeral to figure out when the moment of silence is over.
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07-18-2018 07:21
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tonight my phone made this weird noise ive never heard before,so I googled it and apparently someone was trying to call me
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07-24-2018 00:25
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I will only date a woman 3 times. I'm not scared of commitment. I'm scared my wife will find out.
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07-25-2018 14:59 by
Jake
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You can always make any conversation awkward by pulling out and starting a stopwatch without saying why you’re doing it.
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07-30-2018 08:53
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I t.hink I. mig.ht hav.e ina.dverte.ntly tak.en one .of my wif.e's bir.th c.ontrol pi.lls beca.use m.y perio.ds a.re irr.egu.lar
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08-03-2018 05:42
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Why is it called mooning when you're actually showing uranus?
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08-17-2018 01:41 by
Jake
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Does anyone else ever wonder why the game uno doesn’t have the rest of the cards in Spanish?
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08-28-2018 18:21 by
Js
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I hate spelling errors. . You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.
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09-03-2018 09:31
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Dearest Neighbors, Please do NOT call the police, it’s not domestic violence or a wild party. It’s football season, that’s just me screaming at my TV.
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09-10-2018 06:46
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Money not buying you happiness? Wire it into my account and I’ll send you pictures of how happy it makes me. Problem solved.
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09-10-2018 06:48
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The awkward moment when you have 10 tabs open and cannot figure out which one the music is coming from.
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09-10-2018 06:52
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I love Fall.... Unless it's Cold, Damp and Dark. Then I hate Fall.
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09-10-2018 06:55
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I've been having a problem with nuisance phone calls! The most common one seems to be "You said you'd be home from the pub three hours ago!"
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09-23-2018 06:58 by
Truman
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Canadian cattle can now legally graze on cannabis plants. The steaks have never been higher.
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10-21-2018 06:34
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Will I be able to enjoy A Star is Born if I haven't seen the other Bourne movies?
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11-05-2018 13:41
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I made a Bacon, Lettuce & Tomato sandwich for breakfast. I left off the lettuce, tomato, mayonnaise and bread.
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08-10-2020 08:22
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My husband pissed me off so I bought another half-dozen throw pillows for our bed.
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08-10-2020 08:38
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Neighbor’s rooster hacks & crows like he’s been a lifelong smoker
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08-10-2020 08:42
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