Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I'm not saying Happy Holiday's to anyone this year, instead I'm saying Merry Christmas
←Rate | 12-18-2012 18:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon statistics show that 1 out of 20 of us live next door to a conivcted pedophile, not me though, I live next to two stunning 16 year olds.
←Rate | 03-05-2011 08:32 by Joe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever wondered why there is a stairway to heaven, and a highway to hell? There's apparently more traffic going to hell!!!
←Rate | 02-28-2010 06:12 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck.
←Rate | 12-03-2008 02:03 by Jake Finnan Comments (0)  


   messageicon a duck was about to cross the road when a chicken came running up and said... don't do it man ... you will never here the end of it
←Rate | 07-24-2009 04:00 by jon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kate Middleton Is Now Officially A MILF
←Rate | 07-23-2013 13:15 by Udit Comments (0)  


   messageicon • My life. My choices. My mistakes. My lessons. Not your business.
←Rate | 06-09-2011 16:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon To make it straight, she pulls it. 2 make it stand, she rubs it. 2 make it stiff, she licks it. 2 let it “IN” she pushes it. !!!! True! Threading a needle is not easy!!!
←Rate | 10-13-2009 16:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A.) Go to Google Maps. B.) Search for 47.110579,9.227568 C.) Find the green arrow. Then click more, then street view. D.) Click up 2x then right 2x..............They are watching us
←Rate | 10-05-2011 19:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If we are in a car and I love the song that just came on the radio and you turn it down to tell me something, please know that I will cut you.
←Rate | 09-14-2011 15:54 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Definition of the word f**ked: When a man has a truck payment, a house payment, a wife, AND girlfriend...... And they're all a month late.
←Rate | 07-02-2011 21:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The color 9 is my favorite letter.
←Rate | 06-09-2011 00:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I date a woman, I think to myself, "Is this a woman that I want my children to spend every other weekend with?
←Rate | 11-22-2009 21:51 by bcj Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate it when a tickle fight gets out of hand and you end up having to bury a dead hooker in the woods.
←Rate | 10-04-2012 09:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Starbuck really isn't that expensive, compared to what Victoria Secret charges per cup.
←Rate | 10-07-2012 11:48 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon TIME magazine names "The Protester" as PERSON OF THE YEAR. What a joke of a magazine! How about "The Soldier" without whom the protester would have his head cut off.
←Rate | 12-14-2011 12:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering why Tom Brady's baby looks like Tiger Woods.
←Rate | 12-09-2009 11:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So a Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender turns around and says, “What is this … a joke?”
←Rate | 06-13-2011 14:54 by Mahdi H Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going to be the first person to walk on the sun...I know what ur thinking an I've got it all figured out...I'm going at nite
←Rate | 05-09-2011 09:32 by Griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon Rep. Todd Akin has decided to stay in the race. Is that really surprising - a guy who knows so little about the female body, doesn't know when to pull out?
←Rate | 08-22-2012 11:07 by corinne1957 Comments (0)  



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