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I'm not saying Happy Holiday's to anyone this year, instead I'm saying Merry Christmas 
statistics show that 1 out of 20 of us live next door to a conivcted pedophile, not me though, I live next to two stunning 16 year olds.
Ever wondered why there is a stairway to heaven, and a highway to hell? There's apparently more traffic going to hell!!!
Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck.
a duck was about to cross the road when a chicken came running up and said... don't do it man ... you will never here the end of it
Kate Middleton Is Now Officially A MILF
• My life. My choices. My mistakes. My lessons. Not your business.
To make it straight, she pulls it. 2 make it stand, she rubs it. 2 make it stiff, she licks it. 2 let it “IN” she pushes it. !!!! True! Threading a needle is not easy!!!
A.) Go to Google Maps. B.) Search for 47.110579,9.227568 C.) Find the green arrow. Then click more, then street view. D.) Click up 2x then right 2x..............They are watching us
If we are in a car and I love the song that just came on the radio and you turn it down to tell me something, please know that I will cut you.
Definition of the word f**ked: When a man has a truck payment, a house payment, a wife, AND girlfriend...... And they're all a month late.
The color 9 is my favorite letter.
Whenever I date a woman, I think to myself, "Is this a woman that I want my children to spend every other weekend with?
I hate it when a tickle fight gets out of hand and you end up having to bury a dead hooker in the woods.
Starbuck really isn't that expensive, compared to what Victoria Secret charges per cup.
TIME magazine names "The Protester" as PERSON OF THE YEAR. What a joke of a magazine! How about "The Soldier" without whom the protester would have his head cut off.
wondering why Tom Brady's baby looks like Tiger Woods.
So a Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender turns around and says, “What is this … a joke?”
I'm going to be the first person to walk on the sun...I know what ur thinking an I've got it all figured out...I'm going at nite
Rep. Todd Akin has decided to stay in the race. Is that really surprising - a guy who knows so little about the female body, doesn't know when to pull out? 