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Page: 137 of 5593
Wife giving you the silent treatment? Just loosen all the jar lids and keep the silence going !
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01-27-2018 04:46
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Some people are like that annoying advert that interrupts a video you’re watching and you can’t skip it.
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01-31-2018 23:31
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Seen a midget carrying a plasma TV to his car and a yelled out, “Hey buddy! Need help carrying that TV?” He shouted, “It’s an iPAD A$$HOLE!”
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02-12-2018 16:18
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Shout out to all the motel maids changing the sheets and the plumbers unclogging the hair filled drains this morning.
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02-15-2018 07:36
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I admit women are hard to figure out. Like, why do they tilt their head in pictures ?
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02-15-2018 07:51
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If it's really the thought that counts, we're all screwed.
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02-21-2018 22:03
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Be a good person, but don’t waste time proving it.
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03-10-2018 08:09
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Golf would be a lot more fun to watch on TV if the balls were on fire
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03-19-2018 15:19
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Key to any successful marriage is to discuss everything together and then finally settling with the wife's decision
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03-23-2018 04:53
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1998: That guy is using a cell phone, probably a drug dealer. 2018: That guy is using a payphone, probably a drug dealer.
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03-24-2018 09:29
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A Pop Tart is really just a dessert Hot Pocket...
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03-24-2018 23:24
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I did 50 squats today and I still can't find my lighter!
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04-07-2018 00:13
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Sorry Facebook ... you didn't protect me, my kids and grandma's secret peach cobbler recipe. You're now the new MySpace to me.
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04-09-2018 06:38
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My wife is an animal in bed, a sloth..
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04-15-2018 11:36
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Cartoons were better when people got anvils dropped on them and accidentally smoked dynamite like cigars.
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12-19-2019 05:40
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How long are you supposed to wait before you unpause the tv after your wife tells you she wants a divorce?
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10-23-2019 04:43
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Just got kicked out of Chipotle for knowing what I wanted when I got to the front of the line.
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12-11-2019 13:25
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When I drink I don't need a designated driver, I need a designated hide my phone person
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10-27-2019 14:12 by
kisstoper707
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No sense buying a memory foam mattress if you're just going to toss and turn all night, it'll be confused.
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10-31-2019 06:24
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When I was kid the internet was called Encyclopedia Britannica
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11-03-2019 06:09
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