Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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Page: 13 of 5272

   messageicon We need a reality show where Flat-Earthers attempt to find the edge of the planet.
←Rate | 09-13-2018 11:56 Comments (4)  


   messageicon What if you are an atheist, and you're stuck behind a guy with a "Honk if You Love Jesus" bumper sticker at a traffic light?
←Rate | 09-13-2018 07:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What to do when your partner is snoring? Simply push them off the bed with your feet and shout, “Did you feel that earthquake” when they fall to the floor.
←Rate | 09-13-2018 01:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm watching the hurricane coverage on the weather channel. I hate to be insensitive but, can anyone really pay attention to what the officials are saying when the sign language lady is flailing about?
←Rate | 09-12-2018 21:26 by Timk Comments (1)  


   messageicon I read this article earlier..that said.."cows have four stomachs"...and I wondered if anyone had checked this?..because it sounds like the sort of thing a cow would come out with to get more food?
←Rate | 09-12-2018 20:39 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon 9/13 Happy birthday Milton Hershey, thank you for the Hershey bar. Also is Scooby Doo day.
←Rate | 09-12-2018 20:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Weather forecasters have identified yet another tropical depression in the Atlantic Region which could potentially grow into a mega storm of epic proportions. The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration has appropriately named it Common Core Math
←Rate | 09-12-2018 14:33 by Jsabbage Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just when you thought you knew everything about The Beatles, Paul McCartney informs us that he used to masturbate with John Lennon. I'll be sure to file that in my memory bank of useless information.
←Rate | 09-12-2018 12:38 by vaterpop Comments (1)  


   messageicon A priciple is in trouble for talking about Colins protest at work .But Colin can protest at work . does not make sense.
←Rate | 09-12-2018 11:24 Comments (2)  


   messageicon Hurricane Florence is really really big. Lots of water, wet wet water. Most people don't know that. Just like they didn't know Puerto Rico was an island, surrounded by water, wet water.
←Rate | 09-12-2018 09:08 by lilDonny Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only difference between brown nosing and butt kissing is depth perception.
←Rate | 09-12-2018 06:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember me in your Prayers like you do in your Gossips.
←Rate | 09-12-2018 06:28 by raman911 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The sequel to the book Fear willbe TEARS he's still president.
←Rate | 09-12-2018 05:49 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I already have a "fear" book...my old yearbook
←Rate | 09-12-2018 03:16 by Eddy Comments (1)  


   messageicon Online dating: Wasting your time since 1995.
←Rate | 09-12-2018 01:31 by RyanRyan Comments (0)  


   messageicon Judge: Sorry Mickey, I can't grant you a divorce from Minie because you think she's crazy. Mickey: I didn't say she's crazy. I said she's f**king Goofy.
←Rate | 09-11-2018 22:16 by Haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife used to be a size eight. Now she's a figure 8.
←Rate | 09-11-2018 21:55 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon 57 years old and I'm still not coordinated enough to pass gass with a full bladder
←Rate | 09-11-2018 17:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What the “booming economy” means to me: higher prices for food, healthcare & gas. Anyone else feeling it?
←Rate | 09-11-2018 02:11 Comments (7)  


   messageicon When a client's (djt) lawyer, lawyer needs a lawyer. You know their guilty.
←Rate | 09-11-2018 01:56 Comments (1)  



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