Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I don't care how important you think you are. You should do what you learned in kindergarten; be patient and wait your turn.
←Rate | 06-22-2018 09:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I cook, clean, and run errands because I know I can't compete with a vibrator.
←Rate | 06-22-2018 09:02 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Planning a trip to Australia..I was asked if I had a criminal record?..I didn't know you still needed one?
←Rate | 06-22-2018 08:35 by Truman Comments (0)  

   messageicon What? WikiLeaks is endangering lives and is unamerican? Wow, you don't say? Gee, what a surprise.....
←Rate | 06-22-2018 06:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon New MAGA Campaign Slogan for Pride Month: Make America Gorgeous Again.
←Rate | 06-21-2018 23:46 Comments (0)  

   messageicon if the "space force" ever drops a dirty bomb on Uranus, they better call it "operation taco bell"
←Rate | 06-21-2018 23:41 by Eddy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Like the 20th century used sex to sell things, the 21st century uses rage. Wonder what it will be for 22nd?
←Rate | 06-21-2018 17:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The inventor of the helicopter ejection seat has died from severe headache.
←Rate | 06-21-2018 16:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The apocalypse doesn't care what your credit score is.
←Rate | 06-21-2018 16:49 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wife: Why did you drink all the rum? me: I lost the cap
←Rate | 06-21-2018 16:48 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I stopped watching Vikings when Ragnar Lothbrok died.
←Rate | 06-21-2018 15:19 Comments (1)  

   messageicon Sad news out of Ohio. The inventor or the helicopter ejection seat died from severe head trauma.
←Rate | 06-21-2018 12:52 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Oh btw, if the Dems really cared about keeping families together, they would DROP their support for Planned Parenthood!
←Rate | 06-21-2018 12:45 Comments (1)  

   messageicon Why is being heartless and full of hate the cool thing to do in this era?
←Rate | 06-21-2018 10:33 Comments (9)  

   messageicon Nobody blamed the lightsaber....then again, they didn't let every stupid moron have one.
←Rate | 06-21-2018 10:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm searching the back of this fridge for a beer like a Democrat searching for someone to hold up as a victim
←Rate | 06-21-2018 08:45 Comments (3)  

   messageicon I can’t decide if I should get married again or try to get a blow job from a great white shark.
←Rate | 06-21-2018 08:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's remarkable how much I can get done out of sheer spite.
←Rate | 06-21-2018 08:13 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I'm struggling to pull on a turtleneck I start to worry what the world will be like when I get to the other side.
←Rate | 06-21-2018 07:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I can find your bathroom on my own but I'll ask you for directions anyway so you think I think you live in a mansion. I'm a giver.
←Rate | 06-21-2018 07:49 Comments (0)  

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