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OJ said he has lived a conflict free life. Unless, he thinks you are or our have his property. Then watch out. Things get crazy. 
I remember how it felt so good to turn my lights out for Earth Hour... On hindsight, I probably shouldn't have been driving at the time.
I love myself everyday. Sometimes, twice a day.
May the guy who invented SpellCheck burn in Hello
. I think mydog looks out the window when I leave for work to see that's it safe to lay on the sofa.
in 1964 the wage was 5 silver quarters. Today 5 silver quarters are worth $15.50. We dont need to raise the wage, but to fix our money.
You're never too old to be spanked. If you play your cards right.
leave it to Hugh Hefner to die on hump day
Someone here said that bullying and insulting people, for no good reason, means you're doing things right. When did humanity get so stupid?
The only problem with sport fishing is that the fish have a home field advantage.
I have to get with the times on this social media stuff. All this time I thought Instagram was a convenient way to obtain cocaine.
If Bon Jovi's farewell album isn't called Bon Voyage then what's the point?!?!
Still surprised there isn't a 21st century version of the board game "Sorry" called "It's Somebody Else's Mistake".
You unfriended me on Facebook because I didn't wish you a Happy Birthday on FB? That's a little harsh Mom.
You know what’s more annoying than cops? People who buy old refurbished cop cars and keep the spotlight attached. We all hate you.
If somebody just joined Facebook now either their 10 year prison stint is over or they're newly separated.
My son recovered from his illness while I was filling out all the paperwork in the waiting room.
Just ate a salad when I could've eaten a cheeseburger. Where's my reward? I should get an award, right? Maybe a cheeseburger.
Thanks to Brexit, British prostitutes are now a great deal pound for pound.
By the time I get all these condoms unwrapped I had absolutely no interest in making balloon animals. 