Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
The larger the implants, the more likely women get confused by a push/pull door 
So Ronda Rousey finally fulfilled her dream of being an actress on WWE. Congratulations.
I just saved a ton of money not spent at Disneyworld by making my kids stand in line in the backyard for 3 hours and then taking them to the bathroom.
If your post only says "I can't even" then I'm assuming the rest of it was meant to say "finish a complete sentence!"
wife [with me in a headlock] Stop saying “Dilly dilly”
Zuckerberg - the only time this year we've seen somebody apologise, and it wasn't for sexual harrasment!
North Korea fired a Ballistic missile today. Guess they're out of Ballistic missiles now .
I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like "Dude, you have to wait."
Feels weird when your computer asks if you'd like to continue unprotected....
If you are in a relationship and all you do is cry, you will have to ask yourself,"am I dating a human or an onion?"
The fact that Pitbul is even considered a musician is more disgusting than the fact that toothpaste was invented years after french kissing was.
I need one of you to stand up at my funeral and ask for his toaster back... thanks in advance
My diet can be best described as carb loading for a marathon I'll never run.
My therapist says I am too preoccupied by vengeance.... We'll see about that.
My wife said if I don't get off this damn computer in 5 sec she is gonna smash my head on the keyboard lol I think she is just kidgidudckglblgtieeussyupjfufivi
To all the "Type 'Yes' and share if you agree" posters: Shaddup.
At the time getting into a relationship seemed like a good idea... but then again so did getting on the Titanic
Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms should be a Convenience Store; not a government agency.
If other employees are taking four fifteen minutes smoke breaks a day, I should most certainly be allowed a one hour nap time.
hy do guys go to bars to meet women? Go to Target. There's like 10 women to each man and they're already there looking for things they don't need. 