Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Knock! Knock! Who’s there? A broken pencil. A broken pencil who? Never mind, it’s pointless.
←Rate | 05-29-2018 16:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know what I ever signed up for facebook, I mean like seriously, this dating website sucks!
←Rate | 05-29-2018 16:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have no problem with the Kardashians. I have a problem with the people who care about them.
←Rate | 05-29-2018 14:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've never gotten in or out of a hammock with my dignity intact.
←Rate | 05-29-2018 12:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like you, but not see you every damn day like you.
←Rate | 05-29-2018 12:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not trying to brag but I haven’t been around people in days
←Rate | 05-28-2018 23:26 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy birthday J.F.K. 5/29/1917
←Rate | 05-28-2018 23:21 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I like to stop the microwave with one second to go. It makes me feel like a bomb defusal expert.
←Rate | 05-28-2018 23:11 by Jake Comments (2)  


   messageicon If football games begin with a kick-off, why don't hockey games begin with a puck-off?
←Rate | 05-28-2018 06:55 Comments (3)  


   messageicon I saw two guys wearing matching outfits. I asked if they were g@y? They arrested me.
←Rate | 05-27-2018 23:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I thought about having sex today and then I remembered that I’m married.
←Rate | 05-27-2018 23:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Hey, Baby. Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?" "Sir, step away from the body. She fell from a balcony and this is a crime scene."
←Rate | 05-27-2018 20:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Stanley Cup finals will feature a team that represents a morally bankrupt city, that is built on corruption, greed and deceit, against the Las Vegas Golden Knights.
←Rate | 05-27-2018 17:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know who is a good problem solver? Vanilla Ice. I think it's because he collaborates and listens.
←Rate | 05-27-2018 07:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cheating your wife doesn't mean that you don't love her...it's like hiring a taxi when you have your own car at home...it saves tires and longer lasting beauty and reduces mileage...Send this to your wife and let me know which hospital you are in..
←Rate | 05-27-2018 05:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Things to do.. #1 dig a hole #2 name it love #3 watch people fall in love
←Rate | 05-27-2018 00:26 by @DJPhatJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Looks like the witch hunt is catching a lot of witches.
←Rate | 05-26-2018 21:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I pick up a copy of the new book The Long Walk Home by Miss. D. Bus.
←Rate | 05-26-2018 17:55 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's getting that Time Of Year where I start Liking All Of My Friends Posts who have a POOL
←Rate | 05-26-2018 16:43 Comments (1)  


   messageicon You know you must be unappealing when a nymphomaniac just wants to be friends.
←Rate | 05-26-2018 14:56 by Jake Comments (0)  



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