Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Damaged people are dangerous because they know they can survive

   SORRY should only be said when it's not going to happen again. Not when you just want to be given another chance to mess up again.

   building my weekend playlist. So far I have REM "It's the End of the World" and Anita Baker "Caught Up In the Rapture". Any suggestions?

   the voices in my head must be almost out of beer,cause I can kinda understand'em

   I don't come to Facebook to read the status updates as a time killer anymore, I come to read the fights in the comment box. It's more entertaining.

   Guys, it's time to start working on those apologies for Valentine's Day.

   Car manufacturers need to get with the program! I can't be the only one that wants a Death Ray option.

   NEVER trust a leprechaun who tells you that you can rub off a little “luck of the Irish”….the only happy ending will be his…..

   Practice makes perfect......... Does this apply to lying too?

   Facebook : "a stalkers dream come true"

   ‎$3.88 until my Visa is maxed out. I'm struggling between the #4 at Burger King or shampoo...

   Love is like a brick. You can build a house, or you can sink a dead body.

   NEWS FLASH: 2 air traffic controllers fired for sleeping on the job, someone might want to wake them up to tell them the news.......

   Sorry if my sarcasm offends you. Not really.

   sayin...I hope all of Osama's Vigins look like Janet Reno!!!

   not sure why any man would be in a polygamist relationship just increases the odds of having a psycho ex wife.

   the next thing Casey Anthony googles better be "Self Defense"

   I'm smart my lightbulb just flickers sometimes.

   Zoo tip: Real Tigers often do not follow the rules of "Eenie meenie miney moe"

   Why do your friends always wait until you breakup with someone to tell you that they thought they were ugly?