Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I’m not a sore loser, thanks to Vicodin.
←Rate | 07-05-2018 02:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Always plan ahead...... It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
←Rate | 07-05-2018 01:55 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't need Google...... My wife knows everything.
←Rate | 07-05-2018 01:53 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Careful! That's my only VHS copy of "The Money Pit".
←Rate | 07-05-2018 01:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I want to grow old with you - me, to my couch
←Rate | 07-05-2018 01:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I sexually identify as please stop talking to me.
←Rate | 07-05-2018 01:33 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I am not who you think I am. YOU, are who you think I am.
←Rate | 07-05-2018 01:24 by Punxster Comments (0)  

   messageicon Pour a drink while you pore over the poor grammar.
←Rate | 07-05-2018 00:17 Comments (0)  

   messageicon So you took pictures of fireworks tonight? Post all 50 of them- we really want to see!
←Rate | 07-04-2018 23:13 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Let them enter the country legally and they can enjoy all the freedom they want.
←Rate | 07-04-2018 22:35 Comments (3)  

   messageicon Hear those bangs and explosions? That’s the sound of freedom. That’s America! Let’s not deny others this opportunity.
←Rate | 07-04-2018 22:16 by Cicci Comments (1)  

   messageicon Don’t send me the 1 pic you liked lemme see the hundred you didn’t like
←Rate | 07-04-2018 21:44 by Fadolo Comments (0)  

   messageicon The cemical formula for holly water: H2 OMG
←Rate | 07-04-2018 19:41 by Jake Comments (1)  

   messageicon My lesbian neighbors got me a timex for my birth day. But I don't think they understood when I said I wana watch.
←Rate | 07-04-2018 19:35 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Thank you student loans for helping me get through college. I don't think I can ever repay you.
←Rate | 07-04-2018 19:28 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Father inlaw: A priest who is also a lawyer.
←Rate | 07-04-2018 19:24 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Where do crazy people ride their bikes? On a psychopath.
←Rate | 07-04-2018 16:29 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon The definition of surprise: a fart with a lump in it.
←Rate | 07-04-2018 16:26 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Gynaecologist: A female private investigator.
←Rate | 07-04-2018 16:24 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon We celebrate the 4th of July because citizens were armed.
←Rate | 07-04-2018 16:09 Comments (2)  

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