Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Airport security asked me if I'd seen anything unusual. Well, I just paid eighteen dollars for a turkey sandwich and a bottle of beer, let's start with that.
←Rate | 11-12-2018 10:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Silver Lining: A 350 credit score prevents Identity theft! just saying
←Rate | 11-10-2018 22:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon it just me, or is anyone else finding it difficult to log on to dyslexics.moc?
←Rate | 11-11-2018 20:21 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've started visiting orgies dressed as a Ninja-Turtle! I'm really coming out of my shell these days!
←Rate | 11-16-2018 07:56 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon OMG I can't believe I just did that. I called someone without texting first to see if it was ok that I called them. Yikes!!!
←Rate | 11-16-2018 16:53 by Frank Comments (0)  


   messageicon Aliens probably lock their doors when they ride past earth.
←Rate | 11-13-2018 14:11 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Disappointment is coming home to the smell of fresh bake cookies and finding out it's just a scented candel.
←Rate | 11-11-2018 05:21 by Ha.ha Comments (0)  


   messageicon In Florida we get "I'm still voting" stickers.
←Rate | 11-14-2018 13:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd just like to congratulate the person that invented the wobbly restaurant table! They're basically everywhere now!
←Rate | 11-06-2018 04:46 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I voted and didn’t take a picture, did I really vote?
←Rate | 11-06-2018 18:53 by BWood Comments (2)  


   messageicon Good news for insomniacs! Only 2 more sleeps to Christmas!
←Rate | 11-14-2018 06:29 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember me in your Prayers like you do in your Gossips.
←Rate | 09-12-2018 06:28 by raman911 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m going as Alexa for Halloween this year and answering every question with, “Sorry, I’m having trouble understanding you right now.”
←Rate | 10-19-2018 19:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If they criticize your driving, look them straight in the eye while you turn their airbag off.
←Rate | 11-01-2018 05:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm old enough to remember when apparently the worst thing life could hand you was lemons.
←Rate | 04-09-2018 11:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Statistically, a gun is much less likely to be used in a crime than a Senator.
←Rate | 12-06-2017 14:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There should be reality show where 16 congressmen are forced to take jobs in the private sector.
←Rate | 12-20-2017 08:59 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Bought some unsalted almonds by accident today. Turns out, I like salt, not almonds.
←Rate | 10-09-2018 19:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I text I use the word duck a lot. Mainly because auto-correct is a ditch.
←Rate | 12-29-2017 07:39 Comments (3)  


   messageicon Planning a trip to Australia..I was asked if I had a criminal record?..I didn't know you still needed one?
←Rate | 06-22-2018 08:35 by Truman Comments (2)  



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