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Every time I see you text/type "lyk dis" instead of like this, I assume you were that kid that went to the restroom and didn't come back until the end of Spelling and English class. 
Don't you know it's rude to talk while I'm interrupting?
Don't think of yourself as a failure, think of yourself as unspoiled by success.
Keep doing what you're doing and you'll keep getting what you're getting.
young at heart..... other parts slightly older.. and broken!
hates people who feel like the "12 items or less" sign at the supermarket doesnt apply to them
If anyone is wondering how to build a meth lab, Google apparently has directions on its homepage today…..
When I say, "I never do that"...what I mean is "I haven't done that in the past five minutes."
Life doesn't come with instructions, so why live as if it also comes with rules?
I don't give a crap, but If I did give out crap. You'd be the first person I'd give it to.
At least this apocalypse and rapture debacle has conclusively proven one significant fact: We are not alone! We have idiots living among us!
People who say "If I disappeared, no one would notice" are wrong. Anyone who actually saw you vanish would be pretty freaked out.
Best way to get out of a text convo: "The message could not be delivered due to a temporary network setup error. Please try later. Error 2128-226110
Bees are a good example of Karma; once they sting someone… they die
I'm about to rewrite history. History.
Being funny on Facebook at 2 a.m. is like seeing a UFO... no one gets to see it or believes you.
You Need To Realize if you take Facebook seriously. People won't take you seriously.
Study: The act of eating, browsing the net, and listening to music with an open text book near by.
The cheaper the phone, the harder it is to break.
A 4 year old black boy was brutally beaten by his father. Where's your outrage black community?? 