Funny Status Messages

   You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going, because you might not get there.

   Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.

   Everything I know about dancing I learned from the Charlie Brown Christmas party

   Gaslighting ~ people who try to control others through manipulation will often accuse you of behaviors that they are engaged in themselves. A classic manipulation tactic ripped right from the leftist playbook.

   They got that $1,200. $600. And $1,400. Back in gas, food and rent.

   the FBI going to raid the house of the reporter who published the Alito opinion? Or is that just reserved for the reporters who got Ashley Biden’s diary.

   Why don’t you take a break from disappointing me.

   Silver Alert: Elderly white male, early dementia, yells “C’mon Man!”

   Girls are like strawberries, sometimes they’re at the grocery store.

   You’re only as good as your last haircut.

   At the end of the day we are all human beans and together we will rice. Lettuce pray, ramen.

   I’m so old, I remember when people were well mannered.

   Anybody driving faster than you is a maniac, and anyone going slower than you is a moron.

   Fauci recommends stopping spread of Monkeypox by covering eyes, ears and mouth.

   “Goats are like ducks, if you shoot a duck, I’m scared of toasters, c’mon man.” ~ Joe Biden

   People should have to pass a sense of humor test before they’re allowed on social media.

   Good morning, I saw your Biden yard sign, so I know you’ll buy whatever kind of crap I’m selling.

   You think putting a pineapple ring on a canned ham is baking? No wonder your cat left you.

   One sure sign of success is the presence of an unnecessary waterfall in a person’s yard.

   Women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe. So basically, a clown ninja.