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The true definition of patriotism: check out the canadians singing their nation anthem when the NBA finals is played in Canada. 
Billion dollar Idea: Pepperoni staples for when the cheese keeps sliding off your pizza
I hope the aliens from Area 51 don't escape. I don't want to pay for their healthcare too.
And the Terrible joke award goes to: An invisible man married an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
Adults in the wold read this symbol # as pound and women name a movement againt sexual harassment #metoo.
I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.
starting to feel like she is just a character in some other planets Sims game, and the stairs for the swimming pool have been removed...HELP!
Why can I not stop watching the Food Network?
It may look like i'm doing nothing but at the cellular level i'm actually quite busy.
to quit looking at my status
...thinks animal testing is a terrible idea. they get all nervous and give the wrong answers anyway
have you ever noticed that there are some people that don't need to be on facebook. They either inadvertenly cause drama, or they are prone to the late night drunken facebook status updates
Amazon always recommends me the things I bought, I mean dude why would I want the same or similar thing again
I wonder how we really know that hard work never killed anybody, when the only reliable witness may be dead?
I don't understand some elevator people... Do you really think pushing the elevator button more than once makes it move faster?
you wanna know how to frustrate half the population in an instant?.... NEW facebook!!"
I see nothing but continued growth and expansion for the foreseeable future... but enough about my diet.
I hate racsism. Racsism is a crime, and crime is for blck people
If you want someone to know that you think you're cooler than them, pretend like you don't remember their name. 