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Psychologists now believe that adulthood begins at 25, not 18. They also believe that middle age begins the first time you eat at a Denny's while sober. 
The NFL has determined that we will follow the 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi,..... rule before allowing defenders to tackle quarterbacks.
A new study says that a lot of people on social media today will believe anything that starts out by saying a new study says.
My therapist told me to write letter to the people I hate and then burn them. OK. I did that, now what do I do with all these letters?
We are very lucky that out of all the bodily functions that could have been contagious we got yawning.
Does the thirty minutes of cardio have to be all at once or can you spread it out over fifty years?
My credit score is so bad I have started receiving pre-declined credit card offers!
The mantra of every politician is: Promise Everything, Deliver Nothing, Blame Someone Else. HECK ..... No wonder America is in turmoil ... We rarely vote in leaders .... Just a bunch of Con-Artists to run the Nation.
I grew up living Paycheck to Paycheck ...... NOW after a lot of very hard work and Perseverance ... I now live from Direct Deposit to Direct Deposit.
My five year plan is to make it through this year.
It reminds me of the time I walked in on my parents having sex and they tried to convince me they were lying on top of one another to see who was longer.
2020 love life: The washing machine has seen me naked more often than anyone else.
I swear to God if I had one of those Race Car Beds, it would be on jack stands too.
At this point, if Pennywise tries to lure me into the sewer, I’m going.
The wind kept blowing an old Burger King wrapper at my feet for over half a block I know a sign from God when I see one
If the marriage counselor asks how long since you’ve had sex, she means with your spouse. Learn from my mistakes.
I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.
I'd like to personally address Facebook in telling them we know how to vote and to kindly stop with those imbecilic notices.
I am having a weird day, first I found a hat full of money, then I got chased by a guy with a guitar.
You want a traditional thanksgiving? The CDC recommends you eat outside like a pilgrim this year 