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I'd think getting a parking spot at the Special Olympics would be tough unless you got there really early 
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? El-if-i-no
I am working on writing a new Dr.Suess book..."The Retailer Who Stole Thanksgiving." "He didn't care if he got to eat the jello-o cranberry ring, just so long as he got to hear the cash register sing..."
'do you think the queen ever pulls the covers up to her chan and says "look phillip, i'm a stamp"'
happy that his Judgement Day is not Today
Mosquito is the Spanish word for "little Islamic house of worship."
Be careful! Fox News reported that 30,000 people have died trying to sign up for Obamacare!
Why do so many Americans hate people from the middle east, yet build churches to worship someone from the middle east? How stupid is that.
"something unpredictable , but in the end its right"
I can't believe this is the last Harry Potter movie. It's the end of an era. Who knows, maybe someone will turn it into a book.
I wonder if Jesus knows that everyone just pretends to be his friend so they can move into his sweet cloud house.
It's only October 17th and I'm already sick of seeing anything regarding black friday .. seriously people have you no respect?? its african-american friday, dammit!
Whites fantasize about bla3ks, when they are with their bfriends. But once you go bla3k, you are a single mom :D.
back in a minute, I have to take an Obama.
Shoot 4 more and we can take the whole week off - white folks
shot a man in Reno just to watch him die
Me: How much for the horse tornado? Guy: Sir, that's a carousel.
(At Costco) Hi can I just have a water bottle "Sorry sir all we have is this pack of 2,467 water bottles"
If you can't beat them let THEM join you, THEN beat them.
I like sleeping because it's like being dead , without the commitment... 