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I like it when my wife calls me to check up on me. I feel like one of Charlies Angels. 
if Cheryl hates Ashley so much and divorce him without taking his money,why is she still using his last name?
A good solution can be successfully applied to almost any problem.
I was once challenged my own reflection to a staring contest. On the fourth day I won!
Has a new found love for the word F**K... no doubt it will not last, but I will enjoy it while it does.
Time to go foot race the homeless man again! If he wins I give him $50. He's got faster since I first started doin this
taking one beer at a time.
siting at her comp and staring at the screen waitting for you to talk to her
just got a phone call reminder from my dentist about an appointment to come in for a cavity search...
the leader of the show, make the ladies say "Oh!"
was a strange kid. I had an upper and lower G.I Joe.
My wife grew up in Liberty, Mississippi. I'm not saying Liberty is small or extremely Southern, but when you're in town and yell, "Hey Bubba!". . . EVERYONE turns and waves.
Cincinnati Bengals WR Chad Ochocinco to change last name back to Johnson. This must be one of the big changes promised by the team......WTF!!
if you dont think everyday is a good day, just try missing one!
If the outside is so great, why has man spent hundreds of years perfecting inside.
ID television for insomniacs who dont like info-mercials
In need of a b-pong partner... If you're not super cute, then you better be the nuts at pong.
I'll stop at nothing for a moving violation.
I just saved a ton of jail time by switching to Chris Brown!
Something is definitely up at this police station, the cops are f$cking everywhere. 