Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
Cant wait till tomorrow so the Mexican hookers go back to work. 
Hey Bernie and Joe don’t need advice from two old guys wearing Depends. We need TP....
Arron Hernadez's lawyer: "Hang in there" Arron Hernadez: "will do"
When she suddenly stop singing while she's bathing, just know she's washing her P*ssy
Paul Manafort's shell company was called Summerbreeze. I guess that's just more proof that he's been a giant douche-bag all along!
The bad news is: An Alligator swallowed your child. The good news is: We're gonna comp you Free Family passes to Disneyworld
Calling yourself patriotic makes you patriotic the same way calling yourself a neurosurgeon makes you a neurosurgeon....
All houses made out of wood are tree houses.
I just smoked the fattest blunt.. And now my refrigerator is nervous!
The only time its acceptable for a girl 2 spit is if its into another girls mouth
Justin Bieber got arrested. His Blood levels showed Alcohol, Marijuana, and large amounts of Flintstones Chewable vitamins.
JUDAS: "Still on for friday?" JESUS: "Friday?" JUDAS: "Yeah, you know, the Last Supper" JESUS: "The what?!?" JUDAS: "the Supper, just the Normal Everyday Supper"
Been married for 3 months now, when is it appropriate to start leaving the bathroom door open when taking a dump?
doesn't care if his neighbors see him walking around in his Spiderman boxers. It's Tuesday!
puts the lotion in the basket or else it gets the hose again.
It's pretty hot today, but I'll take the heat over the cold any time. Heat = slight sweaty discomfort; drink cold water as needed. Cold = Physical pain of the extremities; sit in a hot tub and dont get out until spring .
BREAKING NEWS: BP Tries Adding Balsamic Vinegar to Oil
What do you call a hooker with a runny nose? Full.
Watching the news... Oh Look its a new report in India... AAaaand Its RAPE!
When I say you are pretty, don't thank me thank God. 