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Other than the economy, climate, civil rights, and security, we're going to be fine. 
I'd wait in line to slap you for waiting in line for the new iPhone.
looks so much cuter with something in her mouth
I love the idea of there being two sexes. . . Dont you?
whats the difference between a SUV and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a golf ball 400 yards...
How about those White House crashers? The other day they also crashed the Black Caucus, and if you've seen then, you know that's quite a trick.
♬ ♫ ♪ ılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılı ♪ ♫ ♬
knows that your girlfriend is not taking piano classes on sundays
the "Pull my finger" joke stinks.
Who was the best comedian/stage performer in the Bible? ANS: Samson. He brought the house down.
Enjoy "life"... there's plenty of time to be "dead"...;)
Oh, I'm sorry. I can't come to Facebook right now. I'm afraid that in my weakened condition, I could take a nasty spill down the stairs and subject myself to further internet absences.Thanks for stopping by. I appreciate your concern for my well-being.
GIRLS are so hard to understand.... If you go out with your boyz = ur too much of a player. If you want to be with them a lot = ur too needy .. WTF !
I've used up all my sick days, so tomorrow I'm calling in dead. lol
A truck load of tortoises get in a wreck with a boat load of terrapins... it was a turtle disaster!
one reason they call it PMS is that Mad Cow disease was already taken.
Thinks The "Ice Road Truckers" should fill their tires with helium so the trucks weigh less.
i remember when I was younger my mum used to give me 50p to go to the shop , I used to be able to get a couple cans of pop a hand full of ice lollies a magazine couple packs of stickers and some skittles....you just cant do it these days God damn CCTV!!
reading Santa's Naughty Girls list...... Thank you Wikileaks
Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly? 