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Dear kids, There is no Santa. Those presents are from your parents. Sincerely: WIKILEAKS 
NBA = Nlggas Balling Again
Cotton is getting expensive huh... If only there was a way to get people to pick cotton for free...hm
Goodbye M.J... you touched everyone in all generations in some manner. Mind you, touching the kids WAS innaproprate though...
R.I.P Mandela excuse me while I take this selfie at your funeral---Obama
Jesus had two dads and he seemed to turn on just fine.
"insert clever remark here."
There is nothing sadder in this life than to watch someone you love walk away after they have left you. To watch the distance between your two bodies expand until there is nothing left but empty space and silence
about to beat my di@# like it owes me money.
The only time a girl should Kneel down for a guy, is the day she ties her son's shoe-laces.
Roman Catholic establishment has 1.2billion followers or as I like to call them, sheep.
What is it with the color, black, that makes you think of hard-core violence?
I may have Alzheimer’s, but at least I don’t have Alzheimer’s
can’t wait to put “fully vaccinated” on my dating profiles like an adoptable dog.
Oh shut up. You weren't even offended by the word deplorable until you looked it up.
I'm never going to marry a woman unless I'd be proud to have a daughter exactly like her.
Christmas...-What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree eating candy out of your sock?
♪ ♫ ♩♩ ♬ Fiiiiiiiiiiiiive Drama Queeeens, 4 friend requests, 3 I ignore, 2 annoying pokes and ME in need of happy hour!
┐('.'┐) ┐('.'┐) (┌'.')┌ ┐('.'┐) (┌'.')┌ (┌'.')┌ cus' this is thriller, thriller night.
the fact that she loves anal is awesome...I just wish she'd layoff the hot peppers! 