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AT&T should make a commercial with the pink dress girl naked and say, hey tmobile where is your clothes? And the girl can say you bought it right off my back. 
at the Casey Anthony Abortion Clinic, It's NEVER too late...
I think I'm gonna start texting random numbers saying "OMG, I JUST SAW YOUR FACEBOOK STATUS! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT HAPPENED TO YOU!!"
Mike Pence is a wax sculpture in a museum of what people used to believe and live like centuries ago.
Womens March was the largest gathering of people with disabilities in US history.
It sucks when a bunch of rich white guys don't get the improvements to their health care plan at the expense of women and the poor like they have been promised.
Windmill noise causes cancer? I learn something new everyday.
Will E.L. James' next book be called "Fifity Shades of Gay"?
JOHN 12:49 - For I did not speak of my own ACCORD. Translation - Jesus drove a HONDA but he did not boast about it.
When I was born God gave me two choices, I could either be good in bed or have a great memory..Sh !t I forgot what I was going to tell you.
Congrats to Hacksaw Mike Duggan for Becoming Detroit's first white mayor in 40 years. Let the violence begin!
Dear In and Out Burger, I hate you!! Signed, Someone Who Works Down the Street
If it wasn't for Me, it would just be Aweso
The guy who stands in the entrance of Walmart and says "Welcome to Walmart" must say it so many times, he probably wakes up at night yelling it.
(Whitney) Houston, we have a problem.
so horny that i'm turned on by the crack of dawn
wishing that girl on Maury would hurry up and find her baby daddy already!
We should ask Mexico to be our 51st state. We'd have people to do the jobs we don't want to do and would get the jobs back they sent there. Plus, some great real estate!
you may have won this stare contest... SUN! But I'll definitely be triumphant tomorrow! ...now time for the moon
If there were no such things as bears,what kind of hugs would we give? 