Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   the hardest part of working in a restaurant is how your throat hurts after spitting in all those orders

   Just saw a baby with a shirt that said, not everything stays in Vegas.

   Buckwheat Word Of The Day: Dictate "I aks Darla wen she give me a bIow job how my dictate."

   I won't believe Obama is black until he shows me his irresponsible father certificate.

   R.I.P. Amanda Todd ..We will miss you . . <----------------

   in bed by 9, and home by 11..

   Thinks Whitney had her own pre-grammy party. grammy of coke, grammy of heroin, grammy of.......

   Today I saw a baby with a bib that said "This dumbass put my cape on backwards."

   • BoyfriEND, girlfriEND, friEND. Everything has an END, except family.

   this country is not ran by democracy, but by communism.

   supports the "Obama Is Too Damn High Party"!!!

   Congratulations to Amy Winehouse... on 4 months of sobriety.

   "focus- Oh look, a squirrel! "

   I tried Obama's 1-800 number...... It's is a disaster too. Your best bet is to stuff an ObamaCare application into a bottle and throw it in the ocean.

   dancing naked on your roof.

   the answer

   And Jesus said to His disciples, "Follow me....on twitter."

   Almost everybody opens their Facebook to see if they got a message. Almost nobody opens the bible, which is full of messages for them.

   You never see a church with free WiFi. I guess because no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works..

   "in another castle, sorry Mario."