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..just quit her job washing cats. I hated it! I could never get the fur off my tongue. 
On Saturday night the House narrowly passed the healthcare bill. They say the reason it passed was because Nancy Pelosi didn't blink. But she hasn't blinked since what, 1982?
wants you to give it up for his band Sexual Chocolate
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Picturs of the queen naked.....Oopps! this is'nt Google
Damn girl your skinny! I rolled blunts fatter then you but you've been passed around more!
Every time I eat a powdered donut, I try not to look like I just left Charlie Sheen's house.
I don't always get erections at Burger King. But when I do, their a whopper!
Has Fox News blamed Obama for Nancy Reagan's death yet?
Sitting here with Paula Deen & Phil Robertson watching Roots on tv drinking beer
Letting people know they're idiots is my religion.
I just realized the one single thing that would preclude me from becoming a biker. I bathe.
Don't you hate when you buy a bag of air and you find some chips in it?
Every time I go on vacation, my wife gets pregnant. I should take her with me next time.
She's trained right when you roll up to pump fuel, and she jumps out to clean the windows.
I'd rather be trapped under a train than to listen to a song by Train.
I've run out of tampons, so i'm going to spend the next few days upside down.
My husband is so nice to our new cleaning lady. The house gets so hot during the day so he lets her wear a small skirt and a bra.
People who believe in God shouldn't be allowed to complain about the weather.
At least men and women agree on one thing...they both don't trust men. 