Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
(SINGS) this is the Song that Never ends.. it just goes on and on my friend.. Some ppl started singing it not knowing what it was, & they'll continue singing it 4ever just because... LOL!! Bet your singing it now too! YW! 
I got a flu shot for $24 from Target However, I declined the offer of a $50 colonoscopy in the men's room.
Avoid red fingers. Eat Hot Cheetos using a toothpick.
thinks that if we were germs, I would be the 1% bad ass that lysol can never kill!!
put the bom in the bom sha-bom bom, but lays no claim to the ram in the ramalama ding dong
anyone heard anything about Cam Newton? It's been kinda quiet the past 3 minutes
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.
thankful he's not a turkey
This is a 1:1 scale model of a Facebook update.
Why doesn't Homeland Security call the new "If You See Something, Say Something" campaign, "The National Tattle-Tell Campaign"?
My girlfriend made me promise that when I fly home this Christmas it was her that I fantasized about during my "TSA pat down"
What if they're not stars, but instead holes poked in the top of the container so we can breathe?
I replaced se× with food. Now I can't even get in my own pants.
If I ever got the chance to name a Road, I'd call it 'Skin Road' Just so I could laugh at the people at number 4.
There's no way I'm ever eating Thanksgiving leftovers again straight out of the fridge. Yes, that's right. I quit cold turkey.
I listened to today's music. It's nothing more than computer generated sampled effects and pieced together bit by bit blurbs of insincerity with auto-tuned vocals. Might as well listen to a power point presentation.
Me to my son: "Hey, look at this article. It says, 'Vaccines are ready to roll, thanks to beeyotch." My son: "That word is 'biotech', dad."
My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex. I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch....
Minorites "we have issues we need help with" Corporations "ok, we hear you, you want diverse MnMs
I buried our dead snowman in the neighbor’s backyard 