Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon blah. with all this warm weather, the opportunities to write my name in cursive in the snow are disappearing.
←Rate | 02-17-2011 02:18 by ptv Comments (0)  


   messageicon i should not be allowed to send text messages to the opposite sex between the hours of 8pm and 7am fri-sun morning it only results in me making an a$$ of myself
←Rate | 02-23-2011 22:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The jockey on the winning horse in the Preakness was Jesus. Coincidence? I think not
←Rate | 05-21-2011 19:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon young enough to still get into trouble but old enough to still know better.
←Rate | 06-03-2011 01:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon my x says cell ph cause brain cancer,,Another excuse not to talk to me..!!!
←Rate | 06-03-2011 15:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hard work never killed anyone but why risk it ?
←Rate | 06-09-2011 08:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish someone would cast Mel Gibson and Tracy Morgan in a buddy action flick about a crime fighting rabbi and a drag queen.
←Rate | 06-27-2011 01:53 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't believe I get enough credit for the fact that I do all of this without being on any medication.
←Rate | 01-07-2020 06:35 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The worst part about growing old is having to hang out with old people.
←Rate | 02-25-2020 10:43 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon This isolation thing is going to make Palm Sunday mean something completely different to a lot of people.
←Rate | 04-05-2020 05:41 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't find any masks, gloves, or hand sanitizers. Long story short, I just now paid for the premium version of McAfee antivirus. Let's what happens.
←Rate | 04-05-2020 16:51 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon North Korea leader Kim Jong-un is presumed either dead or in a vegetative state. Most likely Bok Choy.
←Rate | 04-25-2020 15:28 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon My laundry detergent was swept out to sea by a fast moving current. R.I.P. Tide
←Rate | 04-27-2020 11:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon They’ve postponed the Olympics, so I’m going to back off the intensity of my workouts.
←Rate | 05-15-2020 08:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Accidentally ate the sticker on my apple. This wouldn’t have happened if it had been a Snickers.
←Rate | 05-15-2020 12:52 Comments (1)  


   messageicon You know. The world would be a happier place if everyone had the same sense of humor as the guy who named his supermarket chain Piggly Wiggly.
←Rate | 06-03-2020 09:31 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't really Walk the Walk or Talk the Talk, but if you need someone to Drink the Drink then I'm your guy.
←Rate | 07-03-2020 09:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one ever boycotted my beans! - George W. Büsh
←Rate | 07-12-2020 17:27 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon did you know that Julie Andrews will no longer endorse cheap lipstick?.... It crumbles easily & makes her breath smell. she explained "the super color fragil lipstick crumbles easily & gives me halitosis"
←Rate | 08-01-2020 15:35 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon To end the coin storage let us all join together as a nation and dig into our couch cushions where we all should be sitting to help end the Coronavirus.
←Rate | 08-14-2020 12:47 by moon Comments (0)  



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