Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 4491 of 5594

   messageicon got new a deodorant ..Instructions say remove top and push up bottom.. My a$$ hurts but every time I fart the room smells great.
←Rate | 05-17-2013 06:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can't we all just get a bong?
←Rate | 05-17-2013 21:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Personally, I'm a big fan of wind mills.... Get it??
←Rate | 07-31-2012 14:10 by Ira Sult Comments (0)  


   messageicon Former Olympic Skater Nancy Kerrigan was arrested today on a DUI.....She blew 8.6, 7.8, 5.6, 6.7 and the cop.
←Rate | 08-04-2012 22:11 by The Fred Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy International Women's Day :) Now go make me a sandwich, cause it ain't going to make it self. Chop Chop :)
←Rate | 03-08-2013 00:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anyone else see the ISIL talking about ISIL
←Rate | 12-06-2015 20:12 Comments (1)  


   messageicon The biggest problem in society today is that there is an entire generation of younger people that have never been punched in the face.
←Rate | 09-02-2020 08:30 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Advertisers – white heterosexuals still use fabric softener, buy insurance and walk their dogs.
←Rate | 01-25-2021 07:50 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I may be getting older, but I remember back in my day, if you took pics of yourself to show all your mates, you were a faggot.
←Rate | 02-10-2017 23:55 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you noticed that the "&" symbol looks like a guy dragging his ass across the floor?
←Rate | 04-10-2012 10:44 by @jhennezzey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Duct tape: Turning NO!, NO!, NO! into mmm, mmm, mmm.
←Rate | 06-25-2012 22:13 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every illegal immigrant we catch here...We should harvest their stem cells, organs, bone marrow, bones,skin,and Eyes...Bet they won't be so froggy to jump the boarder when they see a guy with a dialysis machine standing there saying I want his kidneys!!!!
←Rate | 06-26-2010 23:37 Comments (2)  


   messageicon why is that when you don't agree with anything Obama is doing his "fans" always come back with lame remark about Bush just cause you dont like Obama doesnt mean you are pro Bush ignorant fools.
←Rate | 03-25-2010 16:07 by Just Cause Comments (0)  


   messageicon Obama is not a brown-skinned anti-war socialist who gives away free healthcare. You're thinking of Jesus
←Rate | 03-30-2010 17:13 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I was really jamming to the band playing at a recent gathering, so I whipped out my lighter and started swaying back and forth. The look of disapproval I got from the audience was worrisome. I guess this type of behavior is frowned upon in the Church.
←Rate | 05-11-2025 20:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Condoms do not guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman’s husband.
←Rate | 09-30-2021 11:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd like to take a moment to congratulate the Ieft on their conquering 2 cartoons, a box of pancake mix and a bottle of syrup.
←Rate | 06-22-2020 08:54 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon 41 shot in NYC this weekend, 77 in Chicago, 24 in Atlanta. But it's ok... no need for the media to report it. There were no police officers involved.
←Rate | 07-07-2020 14:19 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I failed my history test today. Apparently, "three centuries of inbreeding" is not the correct answer to "how did the american people evolve?"
←Rate | 07-21-2010 06:42 Comments (2)  


   messageicon Mitt Romney suggests that those whom are in Hurricane Sandy's path escape to their second or perhaps even third home...
←Rate | 10-30-2012 12:28 by TyKoSteamboat Comments (3)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left