Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I have a sore throat, a headache and a dry cough. We all know what that means. I'm never buying weed from Alowishus Jackson again.
←Rate | 03-18-2020 06:20 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yeah, losing St. Patrick's Day was sad. But damn, it was truck month.
←Rate | 03-18-2020 11:41 by TheGoon Comments (0)  


   messageicon While socially distancing myself I guess this will be a good time to finish reading the internet.
←Rate | 03-19-2020 20:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if I'll ever be mature enough to write the word "LOOK" without making the O's look like funny cartoon eyes.
←Rate | 03-20-2020 10:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry I only date guys who are at least 6’ (away)
←Rate | 03-20-2020 13:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ruby can finally take her love to town... guilt free.
←Rate | 03-21-2020 12:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I definitely didn't stockpile enough hot sauce.
←Rate | 03-21-2020 23:58 by Stinkerbelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I'm almost finished reading the internet. Any other good suggestions what to read besides the backs of peanut butter and hand sanitizer containers?
←Rate | 03-24-2020 12:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love that ordering delivery now feels like helping the country & rebuilding the economy whereas before it just felt lazy & financially irresponsible. #WednesdayThoughts #SaferAtHome
←Rate | 03-25-2020 21:34 by @awomanontheroad Comments (0)  


   messageicon You're just not buying enough guns! More are needed!
←Rate | 03-27-2020 01:24 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon hey you the atheist below please move on
←Rate | 03-27-2020 12:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I toilet papered my house last night. It's now worth 1.4 million.
←Rate | 03-27-2020 16:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I never thought that giving up going to work for Lent would be so easy.
←Rate | 03-28-2020 10:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The worst homeschooling class has to be Sex Ed.
←Rate | 03-29-2020 12:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Since staying home I think I need a better way to end a phone conversation then saying "Hey let me go now, I gotta run"
←Rate | 03-30-2020 18:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon With this corona virus thing, just heard that infidelity is down 99.9%
←Rate | 04-02-2020 13:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The pollen is so bad this year that the druggies are turning their crystal meth back into Sudafed.
←Rate | 04-03-2020 14:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone want to send Apple an email and let them know we need an iWatch software update...they don't need to keep telling me I need to stand up.. We need an "ignore, i'm in the middle of a quarantine" button.
←Rate | 04-03-2020 17:51 by RobS Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m guessing the best thing about being a zombie is knowing the dance routine to “Thriller”.
←Rate | 04-04-2020 08:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me: what’s the first thing you want to do after the quarantine? Wife: get a babysitter.
←Rate | 04-04-2020 08:51 Comments (0)  



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