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it polite or rude to slide a note into the bathroom stall next to you that says, "heard you farting but it's ok you're in the right place :)" 
i heard a noise last night, so I got up and peered through the gap in the curtains and yep, sure enough, there she was just stepping into the bath.
Whoever convinced these singers that they can automatically crossover to acting must be shot.
Welcome back home Kim. You tried to fight it, but once you go black, you never go back.
hitting my " like " button makes you ten times more attractive
The power went out, so I'm taking my shower by LED flashlight, just like they did in the olden days.
I know we are new lovers who hooked up just recently and all but you have to stop calling me at 2 in the morning. Who besides stalkers wants to 'talk' at 2am?
Glad the Facebook redesign helped distract you from everything actually wrong with your life
*finds out crush isn't at school today* "Damn, I wasted an outfit."
80% of the time, I hate my life... the other 20% of the time i'm unconscious.
I don't deal well with good-byes. I'm better with good-riddances.
Pat's Wednesday entertanment..... Giving several extra flushes when I hear someone in the stall on their cell phone.........
Leftover Chinese food makes a damn fine breakfast.
Things were happening around us, but nothing was happening between us.
People say that money isn't the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
Try an experiment..next time you are with your friends…see how long it takes before the conversation turns into talking about someone else…try it again as many times as you want..pay attention the results may open your eyes.
Some people spend so much time preaching to the choir..they forget to actually read the words. You are lying to yourself if you don't think you are the problem.
being rich doesn't equal happiness but i'd rather cry in a ferrari
Chasing the American Dream does not count as exercise.
I have found something that wakes me up faster than a hot cup of coffee...a COLD TOILET SEAT... 