Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
Wondering if your adopted because your the only sexy one in the family. 
When I was a child I performed on TV for a very short time. Mom came in the living room, saw me up on it, and made me get down though.
My lifetime ratio of bananas purchased to bananas eaten is running about 5 to 1.
Fah-Q, Fah-Q and Fah-Q!! Whose next?
you know we're getting lazy as people when you see "ready in 5 minutes" and you roll your eyes
my life's story is too far different from yours so please stop questioning and judging me
I love getting fresh clean underwear out of the dryer....I just wish I knew who they belong to!
The truth shall set you free... if you have a spare $100,000 for legal fees.
Ambulances & Fire Trucks would be more effective if they played "Move B*ich Get Out The Way" by Ludacris instead of a siren!
Spongebob: "Can you hear me?" Patrick: "No, It's too dark."
the best halloween treat a woman could ask for.
Some people don't like Vietnemese food,but I don't know what they're complaining pho.
This lady was saying how her daughter is "super strong for a 2 year-old." Now I'm testing the kid and she can't lift sh!t.
I can't wait to see my girlfriends face in 12 days when I tell her I'm done playing black ops. I'm going to let the happiness soak in for about 2 minutes then turn on modern ware fare 3.
Layaway season is back! Yessssssss!
if you're happy & you know it, shut the hell up.
When a couple is so much in love, they are called LOVE BIRDS. When a couple always argues and fight, they are called ANGRY BIRDS.
When your girlfriend asks you "Do I look fat?", the correct response is "Do I look stupid?"
if a quiz is quizzical, what's a test!!
piece be with you, especially if it's ass 