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If your name is Nancy and you get pregnant you will be pregnancy. 
2016 stop it with the great musicians. You know that Nickelback is still around!
It's much better to wake up and go pee than to go pee and wake up
Desert is different from Dessert. You can have as many desserts as you want, but you can only stand in one desert at a time, the english laungauge will get you every time. . .
Happy Single's Discrimination Day. You'll be takiing matters in your own hands. Don't forget to clean up. . .. . .
Yes, I'm Italian. But don't care about Sinatra, The Godfather or Al Pacino. I'm in it for the food.
Opened a Christmas card today and rice fell out....Must have been fro Uncle Ben.
9 months from now the next baby boom will be called the CV19s and the top names will be Charmin, Angel & Scott
Aswe end week 2 of the lockdown, I wonder if OsamaBinLadin stuck in his house with 3 wives n kids decided to call in those Navy Seal himself
My armpits smell like garlic bread. Me, flirting
I want to be a pharmacist just so I can yell "Now take these suppositories and shove'em straight up your ars!"
If a menu item costs a dollar, you give up all rights to complain about it, even if it has pubes in it...
When you realize that Strap-On is No Parts spelled backwards.
I know words. I have the best words. I just don't know how to spell them.
Luggage rack or cop car is the road trip game you hate to lose
whoever you are. wherever you are. bring back our tupperware.
Life has to be about more than just solving problems
Whats the Canadian National Anthem again?
I guess alot of people woke up on the wrong side of the wall today
OK WHO NEEDS MOVING BOXES? 