Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon My Favorite machine at the Gym has to be the Television
←Rate | 02-18-2017 09:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon They only way I'd watch 50 Shades Darker is if the guy tied up our garbage bags and dominated the yard work.
←Rate | 02-18-2017 09:35 Comments (1)  


   messageicon My wife just opened a jar of pickles by herself and I can't help but think that my days around here are numbered...
←Rate | 02-18-2017 09:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Preschoolers talk a lot of trash when playing Chutes and Ladders for little people who needs help counting spaces.
←Rate | 02-18-2017 09:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My 90 y/o Grandpa is living proof how lazy immigrants are. He hasn't worked in 20 years!
←Rate | 02-17-2017 16:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most immigrants still have a lot to learn about America. Like, if you're going to take a day off, take Friday, not Thursday...
←Rate | 02-17-2017 15:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That whole day without immigrants was just as bad as Y2K
←Rate | 02-17-2017 14:49 Comments (3)  


   messageicon Wanna meet me at Taco Bell? The Day Without Illegal Migrants means we'll get plenty of sauce packets and napkins.
←Rate | 02-17-2017 12:21 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have good taste, I just don't have the money to prove it.
←Rate | 02-17-2017 11:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I could feel as happy as an adult,, as I felt as a kid when the teacher wheeled in the TV during class
←Rate | 02-17-2017 11:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon OH there's nothing quite as funny as poster's tossing insults instead of comic relief....
←Rate | 02-17-2017 11:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The real Troll Hunter is a stupid, little shy guy without any self-confidence who has a big flap on the internet and at home he is sitting while peeing… because his mom told himso
←Rate | 02-17-2017 09:25 Comments (2)  


   messageicon User "Anonymous" you are the most annoying person on earth. If there is anything wrong or negative to say to anything you are the man! Get a life or at least a job…
←Rate | 02-17-2017 08:47 Comments (2)  


   messageicon One man's trash is another man's profile picture.
←Rate | 02-17-2017 00:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does anyone else think that maybe the bright side could be self-conscious?
←Rate | 02-16-2017 22:06 by @ryanmilano Comments (0)  


   messageicon WOW ... It was actually easy to go to Home Depot today.
←Rate | 02-16-2017 16:10 Comments (1)  


   messageicon SNL is going to be 2hrs long this week!
←Rate | 02-16-2017 15:22 by jbaby Comments (0)  


   messageicon Taco Bell is PACKED today.
←Rate | 02-16-2017 15:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cant wait till tomorrow so the Mexican hookers go back to work.
←Rate | 02-16-2017 15:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wow. Dramatic drop in crime today.
←Rate | 02-16-2017 15:04 Comments (0)  



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