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What's the difference between a illegal and a park bench??? A park bench can support a family 
The pinata is a great way for Mexicans to teach their kids to beat something till they get what they want.
Musl/ms dont use toilet paper. Starbucks vows to hire 10,000 of them. Enjoy your coffee.
Hillary Clinton was caught telling the truth today.... April Fools!
BREAKING: Mike Flynn's microwave just offered to testify in exchange for immunity.
Wonders if Mike Pence sleeps upside down from his ceiling in his house with no furniture.
Miss the days when a White House scandal only involved the Oval Office and an intern with dirty knees.
The EPA is rejecting science in favor of blind faith in mega-conglomerates who prize profit over humanity. That's why it was created, right?
Watching the news is like playing Clue. So how do you think Flynn's going to die? Bannon in the bathroom with a needle.
Want to help mexicans? Forget protesting the wall. Get your family on heroin.
I installed an energy saving water heater this morning. It's a tankless job but somebody has to do it.
Mom: Clean up your room. We have company coming over for dinner. Me: And we're all going to eat in my room?
Curosity killed the cat, but I was suspect for a while
At my age the only thing that gets TURNED on is MR. Coffee
been single for so long I should change my name to "Kraft"
I think I just saw the Mucinex family walking out of Wal-Mart.
I'm so glad we don't have a Democrat president or else everyone would be crying.....wait everyone is!
The leading cause of divorce is marriage.
When I give my cat leftover cat food from the refrigerator he looks at me like I just asked him for a ride to the airport.
Has found love on facebook. Shes from Bangladesh and "wan day will reash amehica." 