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Pretty sure that Flynn wants immunity so he can confess that he was the one who took a deuce in the urinal. 
This is nothing but a witch hunt. Since when is colluding with Russia a federal crime?
It is okay to have a crooked POTUS, or a rapey POTUS, but we shouldn't be okay with this crooked rapey POTUS.
Why would you trust your country to someone that you would not be willing to be alone in a room with your teenage daughter?
Hooter girls may be hot, but Subway girls are real wife material.
How we'll truly know when the economy has rebounded: When Reggae bands go back to hiring guys whose only job it is to dance.
With increased coal production the White House hopes to make steam locomotive travel popular again. Next up, whale oil lamps.
I can't help wondering if the Oval Office has a special closet for Mike Pence.
Obama ethics lawyer slams Ivanka hiring as unethical. You should never hire someone you want to bang.
Took the batteries out of the carbon monoxide alarm because the loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy.
If you're a man and you post pics of nothing but cute little kittens on your Facebook timeline, effective immediately according to section 19 article 3 'YOU MUST turn in your MAN card!'.
Bruce Springstein @ $500 a ticket says "Americas already great"
When you think about it, isn't egg salad really chicken salad?
Genders are like the twin towers, there used to be two of them and now it's a really sensitive subject.
A smart man washes his hands after he pees. A wise man doesn't pee on his fingers.
I purposely cry while cutting carrots so onions don't left out.
My memory foam has amnesia
I made a grocery list last night when I was drunk and it just says "healthy stuff," "looob," and "you don't own me."
If anxiety was good for weight loss, I'd be back to my birth weight.
Maybe if we all emailed the Constitution to each other, the NSA will finally read it. 