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working 40 hours a week to be this poor. 
"I've found Jesus. He was behind the sofa the whole time. "
jump off the bridge before I push you myself!
touching himself inappropriately while watching Rachel Ray cook bratwurst.
getting naked and playing twister with a monkey!
once dumped Keith Richards in a tub of glue and threw him into a patch of Bryophyta in order to prove a point on a so-called maxim.
giving the father in law a muzzle for the mother in law for father's day, bet it will be the best gift ever.
just trying to be a better webmaster. My name is Url.
pretending to work...because they pretend to pay me.
sleepwalks every night...every morning he wakes up...he is in someone else's bed!
lives in her own little world, but it's OK — they all like me here.
People say that love is in every corner I must be walking in circles!
tying your shoes together
keep your hourly updates going, I really am enjoying them...really. /sarcasm
wants to rock you but you can only roll.
likes to do things without drugs, but ends up just doing a lot of drugs.
heavily armed....and not afraid to flab them in your face!!!
Last night I had a dream I was a muffler and I woke up exhausted...
naked twister anyone?
if X doesn't accept your "friend" request... X DOES NOT WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND! Cease requesting X's friendship instantly. 