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just wants your extra time and your...kiss! 
Hey Baby, wanna come over to myspace and twitter my yahoo 'til I google all over your Facebook
converting oxygen into carbon dioxide...
hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.
never a follower......that's what 'Twits' are for.
wants a Krabby Patty....all the other fish in the sea are eating it.
reading Sasquatches, Dinosaurs & UFOs: The Truth Behind 9/11.
reaching for the stars but they just keep moving further away!
X wonders "Do homeless people get knock-knock jokes?"
[comment removed due to graphic content involving 3 Pints of Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream, a wrench, and handcuffs made out of Twizzlers.]
Funny thing about X's they are always followed by Y's
reckons he was baptized in LSD.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now
I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark
Success always occurs in private and failure in full view 