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dreamd last night that he is perfect. Than he woke up and realized that s reality 
throwing away his rollover minutes because they're a month old.
reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pickpocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?
just gotten an email stating that I had won the Nigerian lottery! I just left the post office to send off my 1500 dollar processing fee and I'll be on a beach in the Bahama's in no time, SUCKAS!
she is too tired to be clever for her status.
I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
forget peace give squirels a chance
just not that into you, Monday
working for the weekend
Do me for tena
so great that he does'nt get murdered, he gets assassinated.
Duck,Duck,Duck,Duck... goose! Pinecone! I win!
I am slayer of dragons, sudcer of women and eater of gold fish crakers!
trying really hard not to make eye contact with the monstrosity of a woman I had a drunken hookup with. . .
I can't think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they're dead.
Explosion at a pie factory in Huddersfield. 3.14159265 dead.
having pink taco's for dinner
reading a book on the history of glue. and can't put it down
thinks Laziness is the mother of all vice...but its a mother & you should respect her!!!
I wonder if cops ever get pi$$ed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit. 