"Push top to open" should read, "Jam a dent in the side of the cardboard with your index finger repeatedly to no avail. Swear at the box. Try and bite it a little. Swear at the box. You know what? Screw it. Cut the whole damn top off."
so 21st rescued miner says to mistress "I'm taking you to bed for a few days" - come to think of it he is experienced being in deep dark holes for long periods of time.
Screw this weather! I'm moving to Petticoat Junction where the sun is always shining and beautiful women skinny dip in the local water tower. I'll be staying the The Shady Rest.
One of the guys who works for me down south called in sick early this morning. He sounded like death! I ask, “How sick are you?” and he said, “I just got done doing my sister, is that sick enough for you?”
The Russian Military is saving money by using inflatable tanks as decoys. You cant tell them apart from the real thing....apart from the sign saying 'No Shoes'..