Funny Status Messages

   I think I have it all figured out......... Now, if only someone would organize it for me.....

   PLEASE put this on your status if you know someone who has been eaten by a dragon. Dragons are nearly unstoppable and, in case you didn't know, they can breathe fire. 93% of people won't copy & paste this because they have already been eaten by a dragon..

   2 blond girls on opposites sides of the lake, The first one yells to the 2nd "How do I get on the other side?" The 2nd yells back "You are on the other side"

   I stopped listening somewhere around the third grade.

   I leave notes on people's windshields telling them I smashed their car and did an amazing job fixing it.

   Yeah....Hi, I'm watching your commercial cash for gold and you just showed a woman selling her wedding ring for $500. No, I don't want to sell gold, I want to meet her. She's hot and we know her marriage isn't working

   off to Mamby Pamby land ya Jackwagon....

   "Just gonna stand there and watch me burn" - my dinner.

   The problem with finding out who your real friends are, is finding out who your real friends aren't

   Next halloween I'm gonna dress as a shrub and randomly sit in peoples front yards

   I've been burnt by love before. Not in heart broken sort of way but in a the candle wax was a bit to hot way.

   Word of the day:FOCUS. If someone annoys the sh*t out of u, tell them 2 FOCUS.(F**k Off Cause Ur Stupid!!!!)

   Picturs of the queen naked.....Oopps! this is'nt Google

   A lion wouldn't cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood.

   Could you imagine the conversation between an owl and Mike Jones?!

   Why be the doctor when you can be the patient? Why cook the food when you can eat it? Why drive the car when you can sit shot-gun? all these are reasons why I enjoy watching other people work.

   My Pagophobia always seems to kick in around this time of year.

   In the game of Life, everybody is bald and rides with the top down.

   just heard the villian in the next Batman movie is a guy who's exposed to high levels of radiation and becomes the Speaker of the House of Representatives

   Birthday cake is the only food you can blow on and spit on and everybody rushes to get a piece.