Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I finally friended my wife on Facebook to get updates on our relationship.
←Rate | 11-11-2010 15:26 by shaunpatrick01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear automatic paper towel dispenser mechanic, could you please program this nifty devise to dispense more than just enough paper towel to dry my pinky..... Thanks!
←Rate | 11-11-2010 15:18 by robs0776 Comments (0)  


   messageicon GOVERMENT: The subtle name given to a large mafia, taking protection money and a good per...centage of your paycheck just for living on their turf.
←Rate | 11-11-2010 15:15 Comments (1)  


   messageicon wondering if you knew the the bird IS the word
←Rate | 11-11-2010 15:05 by Aimee L. Crow Comments (0)  


   messageicon The good thing about multiple personalities is that if you collect enough of them you're prepared for any situation
←Rate | 11-11-2010 14:33 by lemonpillow Comments (2)  


   messageicon on this Veterans Day, president Obama is in Indonesia. Shouldn't he be at Arlington honoring the Vets??
←Rate | 11-11-2010 14:23 Comments (10)  


   messageicon A Careless Man: What the Bush Memoir Reveals
←Rate | 11-11-2010 13:30 Comments (8)  


   messageicon . No, "Thank You" isn't a lot to say outwardly, but it's all I CAN say when all other words fail me. Thank You....endlessly.
←Rate | 11-11-2010 12:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Thank You" is such an insignificant phrase, yet we put so much into it. When we say "Thank You" to a vet or active duty officer, what comes out is 2 simple words, but what is meant is a world of un-seen gratitude, hope, peace and safety. No, "Thank You"
←Rate | 11-11-2010 12:13 by Momofthewildthings Comments (1)  


   messageicon If I ever write a book it's going to be about "People who waste other people's time by reading about their nonsense" but I probably will never write one so..... never mind.
←Rate | 11-11-2010 11:38 by AT Comments (0)  


   messageicon This just in...Blown up COLLAGEN injected lips are NOT sexy. People notice but not in a good way. We actually snicker and mock you. Thank you that is all.
←Rate | 11-11-2010 11:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Veteran: Someone that wants to choke the crap out of the punk in front of you for not taking his hat off during the National Anthem. Someone that still gets queasy around dehydrated food. Someone that has to use all their might to not tear up during "Taps
←Rate | 11-11-2010 11:34 by Hot Tea Comments (1)  


   messageicon Dear makers of Cialis, when I reach middle age and find myslef needing your product, contrary to the advice you offer about calling a doctor if you have an erection lasting longer than 4 hours, I can assure you that I will be calling a film crew instead
←Rate | 11-11-2010 11:30 by SEAN Comments (2)  


   messageicon I think They should make a Pregnancy app. You just pee on your phone and it tells you if you are pregnant. Your move apple!
←Rate | 11-11-2010 11:17 by Boo Comments (0)  


   messageicon tired of reading pregnancy and baby updates EVERYDAY! I don't care if they slept for 4 hours or had their first poopy diaper!
←Rate | 11-11-2010 11:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook pet peeve #2037: Friends who announce their status as "single" after being in a long term relationship... to be followed 2 days later with the status "is in a relationship" really? that didnt take long...
←Rate | 11-11-2010 11:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Oprah tips homeless dude $100" ...20 min. later, homeless dude's crack dealer: "where you get the Benjamin, homie?"
←Rate | 11-11-2010 10:40 by mickeybruce Comments (0)  


   messageicon you're only real job as a father is to keep your daughter off the pole
←Rate | 11-11-2010 10:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wow, Christmas parties invitations are starting to arrive... grrrr... shut up liver!
←Rate | 11-11-2010 10:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Student + dying = studying
←Rate | 11-11-2010 10:14 by Nihal Comments (0)  



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