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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Some kids were dropped as a baby ... you were clearly thrown in the air, smacked by a ceiling fan, hitting the wall, and tossed out the window..
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10-21-2010 22:01 by
kelsey
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If you "think" you caught me scratching my nuts, you just missed it when I said "I don't give a f*** who sees me"
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10-21-2010 20:47
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The lies....the deceit...the broken promises....These movies on Lifetime really bug me...Hey wait....My bad...It's a political commercial!!!!!
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10-21-2010 19:00 by
euphoria62002
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You know you're getting old when one of the Goonies is now playing a grandmother in a TV comedy.
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10-21-2010 18:28
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a fart is merely the cry of an imprisoned turd
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10-21-2010 18:12 by
@TeeWuu86
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<Rages against the vending machine
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10-21-2010 16:22 by
sMs
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Signs you're getting old. Trying to save something on your computer and you can't remember where you put the floppy disks.
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10-21-2010 16:06
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Nothing worse then the awkward stance when you're being sung happy birthday to.
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10-21-2010 16:02
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Ladies, best thing you can do before and after your pregnant....take some pics of yourself while your boobs are enhanced. :D Sincerely: Men who like boobs.
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10-21-2010 15:59 by
Gary
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In the end people always turn into the person they promised never to be"
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10-21-2010 15:33
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"rages against the machine" but it's usually a fax machine or printer.
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10-21-2010 15:19
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Please insert credit card to view my status message.
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10-21-2010 14:50
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Always smile in the morning. It will make people wonder what you did the night before.
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10-21-2010 14:37 by
lemonpillow
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**when I die don't write "R.I.P" on my grave. . write "B.R.B"**
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10-21-2010 13:40 by
ANGELA
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war doesnt determin who is right... its who is left.
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10-21-2010 13:37
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If a person keeps they cereal in fridge they grew up wit roaches
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10-21-2010 13:17
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Ever try to get your toothpaste to curl up and look perfect on the toothbrush.. like it looks on the box?
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10-21-2010 13:16
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Call me the national guard then cause I wash mine before and after I piss..
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10-21-2010 13:08
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My neighbor should get a faster Internet service. This movie is taking too long to download.
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10-21-2010 13:03
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Guy in the bathroom: In the Army they taught us to wash our hands after taking a leak. Me: In the Marine Corp they taught us not to piss on our hands.
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10-21-2010 12:42 by
Michael
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3
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