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Those peeps out there are actin crazy..I had to hit someone over the head wit a frozen turkey...But that old lady had it comin cuz that will be the last time she runs over my foot wit her wheelchair.... 
thinks it's discriminating that there's a Black Friday but not a White Friday!
Auto-Correct is shut, every time I try to swear it ducking corrects it, for duck sake it's doing it now, to he'll with it, suck on my cook you auto-correcting butch!
Can you really get everything you want at Alice's Restaurant ? (except for Alice)..
If three strikes in bowling is a turkey, then I wish you a happy XXX day tomorrow.
obama even suxs more on thanksgiving....
This years Thanksgiving challenge: See if you can sneak a bowl of Lucky Charms on the table.
Having Grey Goose For Thanksgiving Dinner
You call it leftovers, I call it fine dining for at least a week.
Redneck turkey timer: add a handfull of unpopped popcorn to your stuffing... when his ass blows off he's done!
Stand up for what is right, even if you're standing alone.
No one can do everything, BUT everyone can do something!!!
Vu ja de: When you are in a situation that reminds you of something that will happen.
everybody is celine dion in the shower..
Like a good neighbor, Mr. Rogers is there
just realized that Superman was an illegal immigrant
Goldfish and animal crackers.....Her favorite kind of surf and turf
thinks people who end sentences with prepositions should knock it off.
Deja Fu: I've been kicked in the head like this before...
praying I don't get gravy on my nice clothes. 