Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I am looking forward to my daughter being done with her I-Don't-Like-Daddy Phase. I'm running out of things to clean with her toothbrush.
←Rate | 11-20-2010 08:28 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm long, and I'm strong. And I'm down to get the friction on.
←Rate | 11-20-2010 07:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women who wear $200.00 perfume obviously are known to have no common scents. :)
←Rate | 11-20-2010 07:42 by Cape Town, South Africa Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyday is like Thanksgiving for me... people always give me "The Bird" and tell me to "Stuff It!"
←Rate | 11-20-2010 07:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon love the smell of cap gun smoke in the morning.
←Rate | 11-20-2010 06:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was an accountant from the age of twenty to the age of thirty before I was sacked for no apparent reason. What a waste of fourteen years.
←Rate | 11-20-2010 05:59 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon you ever drink so much when your sitting on the coach and you start looking for a seatbelt.
←Rate | 11-20-2010 04:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please hold while I put on my "Gosh I really care" face.
←Rate | 11-20-2010 03:08 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon already on the naughty list. Santa... I can explain.
←Rate | 11-20-2010 03:07 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING NEWS: After realizing just how invasive the TSA screeners have become, the White House has ordered that they will no longer be managed by Homeland Security. Instead, they've been given to the IRS.
←Rate | 11-20-2010 02:06 by Demon Comments (0)  


   messageicon my daughter asked my wife if I loved her, mommys responses was, "yes dear, daddy loves everyone...he is on prozac"
←Rate | 11-20-2010 01:35 by @shaunpatrick01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so broke, cockroaches don't want to live with me.
←Rate | 11-20-2010 01:33 by Herbncheese/oscar Comments (0)  


   messageicon dear inventor of 5 hour energy. please make a coffee flavor drink so I can add it to my coffee
←Rate | 11-20-2010 01:32 by dynamo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Somewhere, instilled in my mind, there is something that tells me that while playing video games if I press harder on the buttons or turn the controller I will be able to run faster, jump higher, turn quicker, or just plain play better. I don't get it. T
←Rate | 11-20-2010 01:01 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Puberty is going to hit Justin Bieber harder than Chris Brown hit Rihanna
←Rate | 11-20-2010 00:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you want to say the truth and you can't, DRINK and SAY IT ALL
←Rate | 11-19-2010 23:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Prefers the days when bustin' a cap was followed by a puff smoke and putting a new red roll in.
←Rate | 11-19-2010 21:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Michael Jordan Brand Condoms - They make sure you score." Sold at your nearest Jordan Brand Supplier.
←Rate | 11-19-2010 21:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girl you must have restless leg syndrome because you can't seem to keep those legs closed!!
←Rate | 11-19-2010 20:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love you! And that's ok that you don't, because sometimes the beauty is in the attempt
←Rate | 11-19-2010 19:56 by BFC Comments (0)  



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