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Today is Monday, and that's reason enough for me to hate it.
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11-08-2010 12:22 by
Marshall the Great
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Whenever I Google something, I get so distracted by the absurd things others have Googled that I rarely get my answer.
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11-08-2010 12:21 by
Marshall the Great
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If you're going to walk a mile in my shoes, can you pick me up some booze on your way back?
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11-08-2010 12:20 by
Marshall the Great
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A religious man is one who feels repentant on a Sunday, for what he did on Saturday and will do again on Monday.
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11-08-2010 12:17
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Life is a roller coaster. You can either scream every time you hit a bump or you can throw your hands up in the air and enjoy it.
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11-08-2010 12:14 by
Marshall the Great
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I don't have a solution, but I do admire the problem.
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11-08-2010 12:13
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My roomate ate some peanuts and sufferd a violent reaction...They were MY peanuts so I kicked the sh!t out of the thieving ba$tard...
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11-08-2010 12:12
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The first thing I'm going to do when I get home tonight is go to the bedroom and take my wife's underwear off..She would kill me if she knew I had them on the whole day.
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11-08-2010 12:10
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Mel Gibson, Randy Quaid and Charlie Sheen walk into a bar. I don't know what the punchline is, but I'm pretty sure the cops are showing up.
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11-08-2010 12:07 by
Marshall the Great
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Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
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11-08-2010 12:06
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Thanks for tagging me in that picture, but nobody needs to know that side of the story...k-thanx
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11-08-2010 12:03
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Wife had a facelift today,not high enough,i can still see it,
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11-08-2010 12:02
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Carrot cakes sounds like it shouldn't be a real thing
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11-08-2010 11:48 by
Marshall the Great
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Whenever I feel intimidated by someone I imagine them drinking out of a rabbit water bottle.
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11-08-2010 11:45 by
Marshall the Great
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I wish I could get as excited about anything as the dog does about going for a ride.
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11-08-2010 11:43 by
Marshall the Great
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People who say that winning isn't important, never win.
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11-08-2010 11:42 by
Marshall the Great
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I think I could be a farmer. Except for the dirt, waking up early, wearing overalls and planting crops. But I wouldn't mind driving a tractor around.
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11-08-2010 11:41 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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I colored my hair today. Never doing that again. It took 5 hours and 12 Sharpies.
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11-08-2010 11:40 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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Talking to you makes me invent new swear words.
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11-08-2010 11:39 by
Marshall the Great
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Love songs are liars.
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11-08-2010 11:38 by
Marshall the Great
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