Funny Status Messages

   How long does it take for an ejaculation to become mature?

   Ahhh,,, Confucius say...I know I had it in my hand a minute ago.

   I hate getting wet...it always makes little animals pop out of my bac!

   Drunk Midgets....i'm pretty sure this is what people come to the internet for.

   I have too much respect for the idea of God to make it responsible for such an absurd world. ~ Georges Duhamel (1884 - 1966)

   Cam Newton is being investigated on animal cruelty charges because apparently video evidence shows him applying beatings to bulldogs, hogs, tigers, chickens, bears, wildcats & wolves. He's stated his intention to beat elephants, ducks & dawgs soon...

   Dont tell me the sky is the limit when there are damn footprints on the moon.

   Bought a horse that lost its last race on purpose. So, I'm calling it Quits.

   Ever been sitting in church and get that feeling, you know the one........like when someone is trying to sell you a crappy used car.

   thanks to Mucinex, I always think of my boogers as being dressed like Archie Bunker and lounging in my nose...

   Huh, it turns out those WERE droids we were looking for! Son of a b@&*h!

   Just sent his buddies to The Blue Oyster to pick up chicks. LOL...are they in for a surprise!

   anyone heard anything about Cam Newton? It's been kinda quiet the past 3 minutes

   wonders..... are Kanye West's 15 minutes are up yet?

   wondering what makes it "so s o g double o d good"

   would like to thank Matt Lauer for preventing any future Kanye West appearances!

   thinks maybe Kanye should take his toys and go play with Joy Bahar. I'm sure she needs the ratings.

   wht is the different between your dog and your wife??? well you still miss your dog after one year..!

   looking forward to the next Kanye apology for being an idiot!

   You always feel a sense of accomplishment when you finally get that food stuck between your teeth with your tongue....So get ready for Thanksgiving.