Funny Status Messages

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 5374 of 5593

   messageicon I like it when my wife calls me to check up on me. I feel like one of Charlies Angels.
←Rate | 12-03-2010 20:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ATTENTION BIEBER FANS: All shows have been cancelled until after the holidays. Sorry for the inconvenience, but Santa needs him in the workshop.
←Rate | 12-03-2010 20:42 by Chuck Norris Comments (0)  


   messageicon would be a hoarder but I cant find my wallet
←Rate | 12-03-2010 20:38 by L Comments (0)  


   messageicon The shorter the jokes the funnier they are.....Just like cocks.
←Rate | 12-03-2010 20:38 by jojo | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon i wonder if they have a pill for premature procrastination
←Rate | 12-03-2010 20:37 by L Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is "patience" a virtue? Why can't "hurry the fuck up" be a virtue?
←Rate | 12-03-2010 20:35 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Santa, I thought I'd save you some time. There's no need to check your list. I've been very, very, naughty. I'll try again next year. P.S Why do you have to be so damn judgemental?
←Rate | 12-03-2010 20:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It just dawned on me that Yogi Bear and Boo are just Fred and Barney with fur. (Think about it)
←Rate | 12-03-2010 19:56 Comments (2)  


   messageicon According to recent posts... Betty Rubble just got a booty call from Optimus Prime. Barney, you stand no chance. Just walk way.
←Rate | 12-03-2010 19:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say you always want what you can't have. Well I just had another beer and proved that theory to be incorrect.
←Rate | 12-03-2010 19:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon  is officially proclaiming that the bird is no longer the word. The new word is legs, go spread the word.
←Rate | 12-03-2010 19:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just got home from the airport where I chose the advanced pat down option and now it really hurts when I pee. I really hope that's just a coincidence
←Rate | 12-03-2010 18:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Bacon is meat candy."
←Rate | 12-03-2010 17:36 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon woke up this morning with an awful hangover and see that there are a lot of male and female cartoon character complaining of a wild night and drunken blackouts. I predict some pretty goofy lookin' babies in 9 months!
←Rate | 12-03-2010 17:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just caught my kids arguing over who loved me more...it would've been sweet but they were pushing each other and saying "you love him more"..."uh uh you love him more"...
←Rate | 12-03-2010 17:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon willing to go the extra mile... as long as it is not in your shoes!
←Rate | 12-03-2010 15:54 by mikey Comments (0)  


   messageicon While your at camp for deer season, I'm out hunting the beaver you left behind.
←Rate | 12-03-2010 15:38 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Only 60 shopping days left until black history month!
←Rate | 12-03-2010 14:35 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  


   messageicon Am I the only one who thinks that they should be a bracket style tournament for the gangs on Gangland? I would definitely put the DVR to some good use. .
←Rate | 12-03-2010 13:28 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes when I'm bored I take red and blue M&Ms and walk up to random people...And try too convince them that one of them will get'em out the Matrix.....
←Rate | 12-03-2010 12:32 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left