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Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
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11-15-2010 20:02 by
Liz
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If you pass after drinking Wild Turkey, just blame it on tryptophan.
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11-15-2010 20:01
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Why is Darth Vader called "Darth Vader"? Because "Master Vader" just sounds wrong.
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11-15-2010 20:00 by
@ambidextre
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i've yet to meet a woman who got pregnant from swallowing
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11-15-2010 20:00 by
beenhereb4
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MONDAYS ARE FOR MASOCHISTS. It's bleak and raining and there's not one dang cookie in the house.
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11-15-2010 19:53
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When I was younger I would make funny faces in the mirror. Now that I'm older the mirror is getting even! I hate that mirror!!!
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11-15-2010 19:26
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I had a recurring dream once !
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11-15-2010 19:24
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Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is
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11-15-2010 19:16 by
Esoteric
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Well at least he was voted most popular kid in high school that rode the short bus because he could buy beer legally without needing a fake ID.
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11-15-2010 18:58
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- When Stephen Hawking has sex does he use Condoms or Norton Anti Virus?
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11-15-2010 18:54 by
trickz100
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Suicide hotline, please hold....
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11-15-2010 18:38
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Beware the lollipop of mediocrity. Lick once and suck forever.
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11-15-2010 18:30
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Don't marry a woman with big hands. It makes your d**k look small.
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11-15-2010 18:27 by
Juliete
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I used to care but now I take a pill for that...
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11-15-2010 18:27 by
buzzbait0u812
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Try Jesus. If you don't like Him, the devil will always take you back.
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11-15-2010 18:20 by
TC
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I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.
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11-15-2010 18:20 by
@marqattacks
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it just me or do TSA Agents remind you of Far Side characters?
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11-15-2010 18:15 by
@marqattacks
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If I had a million dollars, I'd buy a brewery, and turn the planet into alcoholics
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11-15-2010 18:13
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Dont send me no questions to my inbox...Cuz I aint answering them...I aint yo Magic 8-ball...
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11-15-2010 18:05 by
bryan j brown
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I hate when I get some Taco Bell and somebody tells me that Taco Bell isn't "real" Mexican food. I didn't get Taco Bell because I wanted authentic Mexican cuisine. I got Taco Bell because I'm poor and I like Chalupas.
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11-15-2010 17:48
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