Funny Status Messages

   ‎"One of the few things I really about FaceBook is that you can post or quote almost anything and few people will question it."- Abraham Lincoln :)

   Thinks someone needs to invent a sarcasm font.

   bad decisions make good stories.

   just added a guy on facebook named "emon", just so I could Poke Emon

   If I get pulled over in Arizona and the cop says "Papers" and I say "Scissors", do I win?

   New study shows that too much Facebook leads to alcohol/drug abuse, which leads to neglecting one's imaginary sheep.

   Fox News reports that Obama visits Indonesia, one of several foreign countries where he was born.

   We need to talk, shuffle.. One Hall & Oates song is a great idea - but two in a row is completely unacceptable.

   In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man doesn't have to worry about people staring at his patch.

   Russians have grossly misunderstood roulette. Someone needs to tell them it's gambling on numbers, not maybe killing yourself.

   wants a full-body scan AND a pat-down! Mmmmm...

   I always wanted to read other people's minds, well now there's facebook where everyone just thinks out loud. Thank you facebook, the future is here.

   So when your sexting...do you get a phoner?

   never make eye-contact with anyone while eating a banana

   my anger management class pisses me off..

   My mother now has Gchat. You will no longer know how inappropriate my thoughts are via status updates. Today my status is "I like studying and Jesus."

   learned that you should never say "boom" at the airport. looks like i'm missing my flight

   I like to spend my weekends at Burgerking pretending I'm on Man vs Food...

   A penny for my thoughts? Oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar. There worth so much more after I'm a goner and maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin, funny when your dead how people start listenen

   Alcohol does NOT make you fat...it makes you lean...against tables,chairs,walls, floors and ....Ugly people!!!