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Anyone who says onions are the only vegetable that can make you cry has never been hit in the face with a watermelon... just ask that chick on the amazing race...
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11-19-2010 15:27
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This weekends forecast: Mostly drunk, scatterd shots and a slight chance of falling down..
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11-19-2010 15:27 by
Wolf
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If your Thanksgiving plans include tofurkey, then you don't actually have Thanksgiving plans.
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11-19-2010 15:25
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1
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Only in the US it's called "that little squiggly thingy", all other english speaking countries call it "Tilde".
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11-19-2010 15:05
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I prefer my sex be no strings attached. However rope or handcuff attached is just fine. ;0)
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11-19-2010 14:40
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0
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I wonder if I tell my kids I'm calling Santa, will work after Christmas too!
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11-19-2010 14:35 by
Wolf
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Hopefully Kate Middleton knows that being decapitated for not producing a male heir is part of the deal.
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11-19-2010 14:11
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1
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Got an email about seasonal jobs as a “package handler”. Had to check to make sure it was for UPS and not the TSA…
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11-19-2010 14:09 by
Bill
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0
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I bought a book entitled, 'An idiot's guide to saving money'. It was only £39.99.
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11-19-2010 13:58 by
@clarkysj
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0
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its ALOHA Friday no work till monday !!!
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11-19-2010 13:58
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0
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Changing the face can change nothing. But facing the change can change everything.
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11-19-2010 13:45 by
fofo
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0
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I'm stuck to the couch. I think I'm half man half sofa now. Just call me a mofa.
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11-19-2010 13:37 by
Marshall the Great
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1
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Note to self: stop buying stuff on Ebay when drunk. Anyone need a zamboni?
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11-19-2010 13:36 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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I just googled the word ''anagram'' and it said, ''Did you mean: nag a ram?'' Well played, Google. Well played.
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11-19-2010 13:36 by
Lesley
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2
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The worst thing about calling in sick today is not being able to post last night's rage fest pictures until this weekend.
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11-19-2010 13:35 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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Wedding's in 3 weeks, I wish I could invite all of you but the Waffle House only fits 43.
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11-19-2010 13:35 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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I hate whoever invented 6:30 am
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11-19-2010 13:34 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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When people say "don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful" you shouldn't answer with "Don't worry, I have plenty of other reasons to hate you."
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11-19-2010 13:33 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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Relationships would be great if it wasn't for all those feelings.
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11-19-2010 13:32 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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I have a new rule: No one is allowed to talk to me for a minimum of 24 hours after I wake up.
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11-19-2010 13:32 by
Marshall the Great
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0
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